#grammar wise its almost perfect

[cometchasr]

my grandmother tell me today i should learn hokkien, i go lah. not very big deal in december, just learn not harmful one, later can go help with chinese also. then finally i go back school go speak to chinese cher because funny

[luci-is-a-bitch-x3x]

Obey Me! Leviathan, Satan & Asmo with a Goth MC! : basically my thoughts on what the brothers reactions would be, how they would handle having a goth partner, ext.

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Welcome back! (If you came from the other part lol) basically the same concept as before, so i hope you enjoy! Sorry if the characters are not as you think they would be. & I apologize in advance for poor jokes, bad grammar and terrible spelling. Nonetheless I hope it entertains you! ‹𝟹

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Goth MC! who does the make up, the white foundation the "crazy" eyeliner, the black/grey or dark color eyeshadow and blush. Classic black or red lipstick with matching nail polish on the Mc's fingers. The saggy looking hair that matches the make up, oh so well. Goth MC! Who has the unkept look, but at second glance you can tell their well kept. At least to some extent. The Mc has raggy, ripped looking outfit but upon closer inspection its clear the outfit is perfectly kept up with. Goth MC! Who has an over extent looking outfit, looking like rags on rags, and the Mc has a dead looking apperance appearing to have risen from the grave. Almost the perfect example of a goth baddie. How will the brothers react?

Leviathan

When Goth Mc shows up Levi immediately thinks they look like goth characters from his animes! Like the anime "I was a dog and then I licked a puddle, which transformed me into a famous Goth idol!" Levi's cheeks flushs as he stares at the Mc in awe. He clearly thinks that Goth MC is just like the goth characters in his animes. "All the Goth characters in animes are so badass!! I bet Mc is such a badass!" Levi almost gets a nose bleed but eventually skitters off to his room.

Levi is constantly thinking of Goth Mc, he has to distract himself with games and upcoming anime releases. Excuses. He finds himself unconsciously watching animes with characters that remind him of this Mc.

Levi tells Henry (the goldfish) all about Goth Mc. Henry is never not hearing about the Mc. The way their smile brightened the room even with the dark attire the MC was wearing.

Dating Levi would be fun and domestic. Levi likes horror games, he watches horror movies and animes. So if you're a goth who loves horror he's you're man. You guys can cuddle up and game or snack and watch something scary.

I feel like Levi would get to see a more casual goth side of the Mc. I mean why would you be gaming and chilling so much in the fancy goth attire? It takes a lot of effort and energy. Levi would inevitably see the more casual goth side. Maybe just a little eyeliner or something, casual still dark attire outfit, even without being all dolled up the Mc radiats goth energy. Or thats what Levi thinks. Levi thinks it's so cool that Mc dresses casual with him! The Mc obviously feels safe enough to not be all dolled up! They know he worships them no matter what they look like. They're the perfect 3D partner for him. His player 2, His Henry.

Now outfit wise, Levi would defiantly make this Mc wear some goth anime cosplays. He makes his cosplays himself the cosplays always fit perfectly. Of course he has to take pictures of Mc in their cosplays! But thats about it outfit wise, he keeps up with some trends but ultimately he doesnt go out so he doesn't feel the need to dress to impress. You should just stay in his room with him and his other Henry! (The goldfish lol)

Levi is quick to know everything about goth as soon as he met the Mc. If he didn't already know about goth lol. Levi will buy popular goth items off Akuzon and give them to the Mc. He'll have a huge blush and will be talking through his hand. And as an excuse he'll say he got it as a extra item. Instead of admitting he got it for them as a gift.

Satan

Goth Mc's arrival in The Devildom altered Satan's life. A bit dramatic dude. Satan sees the appeal of the aesthetic, even thinks its a bit of an artistic outlit. He immediately compares Mc to a black cat. Stating all the similarities in his head.

Just like with cats Satan is drawn to Goth Mc. Just something about their presence and apperance makes Satan happy and calm. One look at Mc and suddenly hes not as angry as before. He doesn't need to destroy the room like he previously thought he did.

Dating Satan is like a love story, for example, Satan took a really aesthetically pleasing photo of Goth Mc with a black cat, it's been his D.D.D's wallpaper ever since.

Satan enjoys reading mystery/crime books, when Goth Mc suggests books with horror or grim themes Satan was open to reading them! He enjoyed reading any books usually, and reading with Mc made the book even better! Chatting with Mc about the books after reading them made him feel content.

Satan is by no means out of date in style, but i don't think hes a fashion expert. He knows what he needs to so he can look presentable enough. Satan enjoys saving money so he'd much prefer going to cheaper shops, but he will get this Mc expenisve goth attire for special occasions.

Satan enjoys the Goth aesthetic and vibe, so he caught on quickly. He read a lot of books & asked a lot of questions. Satan will buy books that are on the darker side, just to read it with you. If Satan gets anything extra thats black cat themed, it immediately goes to Goth MC. As- "Your apperance is captivating, just because you're unique people frown upon and fear you, but I my dear, see past the dark complection, there's a soft creature waiting to be loved inside of you." -this is something he would write for a black cat, and then say to Mc, saying to Mc "well you remind me of a black cat and it fit you pretty well, did it not?" Satan would also pick up any cheap goth stuff he saw, no matter how random it may be for him to randomly giving the items to Mc unprompted, he gets it anyways, just wanting MC to know he was thinking of them. And that although he's cheap, he still loves them

You cant tell me Satan wouldn't fit perfectly with a goth partner. Man's would look perfect with a Goth partner. Just sounds so adorable. Perfect partner for him change my mind.

Asmo

When Asmo first sees Goth Mc he defiently squealed out loud. Man's lost his shit. "Mc is just so cute!!~" defiently took immediate inspiration from Goth Mc. Whether that inspired his next clothes design or just a new outfit look for himself is up to you.

Asmo just wants to eat Goth Mc up! (Metaphorically) Asmo adores Goth Mc's look. I feel like Lucifer had to stop Asmo from scooping Goth Mc into his arms from the second he sees Goth Mc. Asmo wants all the details. "Tell me what products you use Mc!! What clothes are you wearing?! How long does it take for you to get ready?!? You appreciate the art of make up as much as I do!!!" Asmo is over the moon. He loves having Goth Mc around. Mc wants to try a new goth look? Leave it to Asmo! Mc will let Asmo paint their nails or do their make up, as long as it matches their goth aesthetic? Asmo loves aesthetics! He'd never ruin Mc's aesthetic!

However Asmo would encourage Goth Mc to stretch their horizions. "Why not try the pink goth look Mc?? Oh, hun. You'll look gorgeous! Pink suits everyone!" Mc really doesnt want to try pink? That's okay! Asmo knows all the fashion choices out there! He knows all kind of Goth styles Mc can try out! Ultimately Asmo enjoys how Mc looks, even if he seems to encourage Mc to try other goth styles, he just wants Mc to be happy! Mc looks good in anything in his mind!

Dating Asmo is almost like being famous. Asmo wants to take all the pictures with Goth Mc to post to Devilgram. Asmo will proudly post Mc on his Devilgram. Someone comments on Mc's style? Aw, now that hater doesn't have a social life at all! "No silly! I didn't do anything!" He totally ruined their life over a "not my type of look" comment lol. Asmo likes to do matching outfits with Goth Mc, at least to some extent. "Lets wear the same accessories!! Ooo~ that lipstick looks nice Mc! Let me try it!" It may be small things like those, or Asmo may go with a full matching outfit. You never know with him. Mans is full of surprises.

Asmo will only do some things with Goth Mc, if its not apperance based, making outfits, doing make up, ect, Asmo isn't very interested. He likes to stay clean and not mess up his freshly done apperance! But! (In the game it says it somewhere) Asmo will occasionally not very often just when he feels like it watch horror movies with Mc, but the movies have to be psychological horror. Asmo doesn't like the gore ones. (Thats what it said in game at least)

Asmo knows all the best places to shop styles. While hes out shopping he'll definitely pick Mc up some goth stuff. If he sees it and thinks of Mc he obviously has to get it for them! Asmo is great with Goth gifts. He gets aesthetics better than any of his brothers. So every gift Mc receives from Asmo is one their guaranteed to love. It fits their aesthetic perfectly!

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Thats all for now babes!!! This is not proofread! I hope you enjoyed nonetheless! Let me know any thoughts or add ons you have in the comments of reblogs! The twins will be next, and then ill do the side characters. So stay tuned and stay healthy doves! ‹𝟹

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⟡˙⋆Masterlist⋆˙⟡

[noeverse]

Among Crowns, Prologue: The Wheel of Fate

Author's Notes

Be welcome to my first HOTD fic! I'm excited to share it with y'all and see where this story takes me. I hope you guys love Aurynn and her story as much as I do!

English isn't my first language, so please forgive any typos/grammar mistakes

If you wish to be tagged in this series, let me know in the notes and asks!

This series will contain canon-typical sexism, sexual themes, violence, infidelity, among other tags to be added, as well as some canon takes from both Fire and Blood and HOTD, and even some liberties of mine

Summary: Princess Rhaenyra, seeing the state of her court and claim to the throne, decides to switch her cards; her firstborn son will marry Lady Aurynn Mormont in order to have a shot with ensuring the North's allegiance, and Lord Rodrik Mormont shall take Baela as wife in Jacaerys' stead. With war at their doors, these siblings will play whatever tune its sang in order to live in a volatile enviroment.

Words: 2.0k

Pairings: Jacaerys Velaryon x OFC (Aurynn Mormont) Baela Targaryen x OMC (Rodrik Mormont), eventual Cregan Stark x OFC & Alyn Velaryon x OFC (Aurynn Mormont) and OFC x OFC (Visella Targaryen @blood0fthedragon x Aurynn Mormont)

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: None (they will be added as the series progresses)

Tagging: @aeksion-aekse @mini-kunoichi @huramuna @blood0fthedragon

Princess Rhaenyra paced herself in her chambers, the thought of war coming soon heavy on her mind. Alicent had made her move already, and she was running out of time. For ten years, they had been playing the political chess. Her eldest son was of age. And Baela seemed perfect for him; however, she was not blind. She had seen the way Jace looked at the Mormont girl.

She was certainly a beauty, with a long cascade of brown curls, expressive brown eyes and a wit and charm that easily matched others. And she was from a beloved and fierce house from the North. Baela was a Targaryen, and a daughter of her beloved husband, however, it was clear that there was no attraction between one another. If Rhaenyra was to sway the North to her side, then a successful marriage between a Northern and her son would be the wise thing to do.

She also was aware of Rodrik’s eligibility. He was strikingly handsome, an accomplished warrior, a patron of the arts and cunning in politics. However, his wandering eye escaped nobody. Someone as brazen and ill-tempered as Baela could either make him better or worse. Perhaps, if she played the game right, it could be done well.

Summoning her advisors to the chamber, she asked “Tell me, my lords, about Lady Mormont.”

Both men looked at one another “Well, Princess, she is a certified beauty, and an accomplished one at that. A famous companion of the princes, and someone very much wanted in all of Westeros. Why, only on her thirteenth name-day we received numerous letters from all the places. Do you plan on arranging a marriage for her, Princess?”

“As a matter of fact, I do.” She folded her hands.

Aurynn was brushing her very long hair, sighing as she performed her nightly dance with her Northern ringlets. It had been almost eight years since she arrived at Dragonstone after a pact between her late lord father and the princess. Life had been good, playing with the princes and getting to hone her courtly skills. And perhaps find a good marriage, one with a lord that would treat her well and give her beautiful children and a purpose.

Suddenly, a knock interrupted her thoughts. She looked up to see sweet Luke, doubt in his eyes. She had always seen him as a little brother, and the feeling was mutual. “I… am not interrupting, am I, Lynn?”

“Of course not, sweet boy. Do come, tell me what’s on your mind.”

He sat at the edge of the bed, used to seeing her in nightgown and her hair down, something that raised many eyebrows “As you know, Mother is to send us to gain alliances. With our dragons.” He was fidgeting, as he usually did. She got up from her seat and squeezed her hands in his, calming his racing thoughts.

“Take a breath. Order your thoughts,” he did as she told him “Now, speak slowly.”

“I’m afraid, Lynn. What if something goes wrong? What if Arrax gets sick? Jace looks so confident…”

“Just because someone sounds confident doesn’t mean that they are. And I know what you’ll say: ‘but Jace is perfect’. He is virtuous, yes, but he is but a boy. As am I. As are you. There is nothing wrong with being afraid every once in a while.”

“Are you ever afraid, Lynn?”

“Many times a week, my boy. That I will be betrothed to a cruel old man. That everything I’ve worked for isn’t enough. Of my house’s fate.”

Luke flushed “If it helps, I’d sooner marry you than ship you off to a cruel old man.”

Aurynn threw her head back and laughed, a melody that often calmed and soothed the young prince. Then, she kissed his cheek “Oh, Luke, my dearest boy, I’m afraid I’d be deemed to old for you. Besides, you and Rhaena seem to get along just fine.”

“The sentiment isn’t only mine.”

Aurynn frowned, amused “How come?”

Lucerys flushed, the face he did when he talked too much “I, uh, should go to bed. I have much to prepare with, uh, Arrax. Good night, Lynn!” Then, he sprinted away from the room, leaving an amused and confused Aurynn.

The next morning, Aurynn had dressed herself with a beautiful purple ensemble and had finally coiffed her hair in a complicated hairdo when her door was knocked “Who is it?”

A masculine voice replied “Princess Rhaenyra sends for you, my lady. I am to escort you to her.”

Feeling nervous and excited, she polished herself and opened the door. Taking a deep breath, she nodded “Let’s go then.” After crossing a corner, she asked “Do you know what business does Her Grace want to do with me?”

“I do not know, my lady. I am only following orders.”

They finally entered the room, where at the top of the table was Rhaenyra, Prince Jacaerys and Lady Baela. Curtsying to them all, she gave them a friendly face “Did you summon me, Your Grace?”

“Do approach the table, Aurynn. Would you like some wine?”

“No, thank you, I’ve had breakfast a few minutes ago.” It was a small lie. Her stomach was made of knots, and she prayed that none of them heard her intestine roar.

“As you know, you’ve reached age of marriage, and your presence has not escaped my allies. Men all over the Vale, the North and other regions have been sending me owls for your hand, offering you all sorts of luxuries. Even houses that are allied to Alicent’s party have offered to swear fealty to me if I were to give you your hand in marriage.” She looked around the room “However, my council and I have agreed that none of these men are a match worthy of you, and have thus come to a decision.” She then looked at her eldest son and proclaimed “You and my son Jace shall marry within the month, and you, Baela, shall marry Lady Mormont’s brother Rodrik. He is handsome, rich, young and a formidable ally. He is sailing to accept your hand as we speak.”

Aurynn’s gaze turned to an equally stunned Jace. They had known each other all their lives, and Aurynn had always admired Jace and had fancied him for long, even after his duties had taken over. They have had a strong connection that raised question of marriage before Princess Rhaenyra married Prince Daemon and betrothed his daughters to her sons.

Nevertheless, one couldn’t simply reject the formidable Prince of Dragonstone. She bowed to the princess and recited “I thank you for this privilege, Your Grace, and promise to be the loveliest, most dutiful wife to your son.”

Jace woke up from his shock and gave them a rehearsed smile “If it pleases my mother, it shall be done. Might I have a moment alone with my betrothed?”

He didn’t even wait for his mother to respond before they both curtsied and he practically dragged her out of the room.

“Jace!” Aurynn exclaimed, surprised at her reaction.

He didn’t seem to hear her, still in stupor. They walked and walked, his grip on her, until they finally got out, in the beautiful garden they used to chase one another and laugh and munch berries.

“Jace, you’re hurting me!” Lynn finally exclaimed.

Said words seemed to wake him from his stupor and let go of her hand, clearly embarrassed “Forgive me, Lynn. I didn’t think I was gripping you too hard.” He examined her hand and gave it some gentle strokes. Her breath caught. “I didn’t know that my mother would pull this off.”

“Jace, it’s alright—,”

“Lynn, being my bride is being in the eve of danger. I understand if you’re scared.”

She looked at him defiantly “I am a Mormont, Jace. I am not scared of a drunken prince and his desperate mother.”

He squeezed her hand, a small smile on his lips “I know that you are as fierce as a Northerner comes, but this is different. You’d be queen someday, if we aren’t betrayed. Besides, you deserve better than someone whom they call ‘bastard’ behind his back.”

“I don’t care about that, Jace. I care about your good opinion and your mother’s. If you don’t wish to marry me, say it. You have the power to undo the alliance.”

He smiled sadly “I am flattered that you think me of someone with power, but my mother’s made her choice. Your brother is on his way. And… I do like the idea of marrying you.”

Lynn looked at those tender brown eyes and swallowed “Truly, Jace?”

He gave her a tentative look “Do you, Lynn? Like the idea of marrying me as well?”

She opened her mouth, but no sound came out. Instead, her gaze went to his lips, and he seemed to notice. Soon, his hands were on her hips, squeezing the light Dornish lace and stroked aside a wild ringlet.

“I—,”

“Jace!” A familiar voice called.

They both bolted away, clearly flushed. Luke was running towards them, Joffrey in tow, “Is it true? You and Lynn are to be married?”

It was Lynn who spoke “Yes, dear Luke. Your mother was generous enough to allow me to join our family.”

He smiled “Amazing! It’s just like when we were boys! You and Lynn married, in those imagine games we used to play when—,”

Jace, clearly embarrassed, placed his hands on his brothers’ shoulders and cleared his throat “Let me tell you all about it in our dragon pit. I am sure Lady Mormont has many preparations to make for my brother-in-law’s arrival, don’t you, Lynn?”

Trying not to chuckle, Lynn nodded, taking the opposite direction to the castle, wanting to busy her toes in the sand. When she reached the beach, she found a familiar silver hair. She slowly and gently approached her “Might I sit?”

Baela looked at her and nodded wordlessly. She sat besides her at a respectful distance and looked out at the sea “If you’re wondering, I am not angry. Neither of us asked to be moved around like chess pieces.”

Baela sighed “Isn’t that all we are? Chess pieces to move and discard to their heart’s delight?”

Lynn bit her lip “Gods, I hope not. I suppose that, to our fathers, we are, but Princess Rhaenyra is no man.”

“She ought to behave like one if she is to hold the throne one day.”

It suddenly hit her. Baela was tragically right. Being a woman was unsafe as it was in Westeros, and Princess Rhaenyra must’ve felt cornered by her rivals for her to make such sudden move. Jace was a great man, but a man nevertheless. As was Rodrik, and Luke, and everyone in the council.

She liked Jace, and with time, she might even grow to love him, but she was no fool either. She knew from a young age which role to play if she wanted to win the eternal game of survival in a world where women were feeble and discardable little things.

“Let them think that we are,” she declared “but we will know the truth. Let them believe the illusion that we are innocent, meek and playable things, as long as my will is made.” She looked at Baela “reforming a man like Rodrik is no easy task, but it is not impossible.”

Baela seemed to catch up “Go on.”

“Give him something that no common girl can give him. A reason to be with you alone. Let it be your bedding skills, or wealth, or the illusion of having the girl he’s dreamt of having, and he’ll be yours. Make yourself irreplaceable, and he shall be yours. Isn’t that what men want in a woman, after all? A gem so rare, so wanted, that if they do not take care of it, it may slip from his fingers.”

Baela smiled at her “I pray to the Gods that your brother is as cunning as you, Aurynn. We’ll need all the wit and conniving we are allowed to show in this tryst.”

[patchworkpuzzle]

MINORS DNI 18+

word count: ~2.5k

paring: Sero x f!Reader

warning: rough handling, edging, overstimulation, squirting, clit slapping (so I guess impact play?)

authors note: so.... uh.... I wrote this for me. Been giving gifts that past few days and I wanted one so.... I hope you guys like it!  And please don’t perceive me, okay? (Also, so sorry if there are grammar mistakes. No beta reader, we die like men)

You had a bit of an attitude.

Not all the time, in fact most of the time you were very sweet. But sometimes, like today, it was made very clear that you were very much a brat. You had a craving since the moment you woke up to be ravished by your super handsome and wonderful boyfriend.

But alas, his hero work came in between your plans. And there was nothing you could do to stop the hero Cellophane from saving the day. So, you had to begrudgingly say goodbye, and good luck, to him as you watched him dash out the door.

On a normal day you would just let it slide. It wasn’t like Sero wanted to go in on his day off, he was dragged into it all. So, because of that, it means it wasn’t his fault he couldn’t tend to your needs. You know he would have, and he never left you unsatisfied. If you just waited like the good girl you were known to be, you would be rewarded.

But for some reason, you just couldn’t.

For some reason you were just in a mood. And that mood meant, instead of sulking all day trying to get your mind off things, you were going to make your horniness his problem too. If he was going to leave you needy, well then you were going to make him want to come home as soon as possible.

The back of your mind was nagging you the entire time. Telling you it wasn’t smart to get into your favourite lingerie set, nor was it wise to take that many selfies of yourself in said set, and that it was especially a bad idea to send those selfies to your boyfriend with the provocative messages attached.

And an even worse idea that when he responded, his usual dominance showing through telling you to ‘not to play this game with him right now’, to send him a video of you slowly touching yourself and loudly moaning his name.

He was silent after you sent that video. It was clear that he saw it, the icon proving as much, but as the hours passed without so much as a single word made you worried. That nagging voice now speaking even louder as the hours passed, telling you how much of a terrible idea it was.

But how bad could it be, really? Usually when Sero got this way it meant that you were going to be punished. And, oh, how your nerves shook with pleasure that went straight to your core at the thought. A night where Sero was mad at you, punishing you for being bad, meant a nonstop assault on your body. Being tossed, toyed, played with, fucked, within an inch of your life. Your body being abused in the most sinful, and pleasurable, of ways.

You bit your lip at the thought. When Sero got dominant over you it made you go feral; even more so than what you were now. As your mind was buzzing at all the possible outcomes he may have in store for you when he walked through the door.

What you were expecting, you didn’t know; but you weren’t about to complain in the slightest.

At least not much, that is. As your instincts screamed at you to walk out of your shared room to greet him when you heard the door slam open, and the sound of his boots harshly thumping against the ground as he took them off, but you held firm and stayed spread out on your bed. The only thing you did to show you knew he was home, was sit up. Your brattish attitude wiggled its way into your chest as you waited for him.

You heard him call your name, asking where you were. His voice was deceptive, he sounded friendly and normal, but the tone that was almost hidden underneath was dark; proving he was furious at you. It made your legs clamp and rub together, trying to alleviate the growing pleasure you felt as you held your tongue. You wanted him to find you.

And he did. It wasn’t like there were that many places to look after all. And when the door swung open to reveal his lean form, you gulped. Seeing him in his hero outfit always did something to you, the way it shaped his perfect body to show off every piece of strong muscle was almost sinful; certainly not fair to you every time you saw him in it. And the way it mixed with his dishevelled hair, clearly due to his helmet, and the dark threatening look held in his eyes as he scanned your form made a shiver run down your spine.

“I called out, why didn’t you respond Cariño?” Sero asked, his tone chillingly calm as he stalked his way to your side of the bed.

He didn’t sit down, like you expected him to. Sero just stood there, staring down at you, eyes scanning over your form once again as he took in just how lovely it all looked on you. Your heartbeat raced in your chest as you licked your lips, wanting to respond but instead you didn’t. You looked away from him.

A yelp, turning itself into a breathless whimper, let your lips as his hand grabbed your hair harshly causing you to sit up on your knees. His face came dangerously close to yours, to ensure you were looking directly at him. His warm breath fanned across your cheeks as you watched with hooded eyes as his tongue peeked past his lips to wet them.

“I asked you a question.” He growled out, his other hand coming up to wrap around your throat in warning “And I expect an answer.”

Sero could feel you swallow as you nodded your head, enjoying the way you were squirming in his hold. He waited a breath before throwing you face first back onto the mattress, chuckling darkly as he watched you lift your hips, so your ass was in the air; wiggling it to tempt him to spank it.

He ignored it, walking his way to the other side of the bed as he began to move some things around; mainly the full body mirror you kept in the corner of the room to sit facing the end of the bed.

“Papi!” You whined, turning your face to watch him but never moving out of your lewd position “I want you to play with me!”

“I know you do, Princesa.” His back was still to you, ignoring you completely as he finished setting everything up “But should I? You haven’t exactly been good, have you?”

The whine that left your lips could only be described as pathetic, as you continued to squirm on the bed; never once touching your aching core to avoid anymore neglect from the man before you. Small please and begs leaving your lips, telling him that you were being good.

“Please, want you to touch me Papi. Want you to fill me up, please Papi! I need it!” You whimpered, eyes starting to water with tears as your discomfort grew the longer you stayed untouched.

You heard Sero sigh as he finally turned to face you, a dark smile slowly starting to grace his features as he looked upon your glassy eyes. “You’re such a needy baby, aren’t you?” He cooed down at you.

You nodded your head as you carefully watched him walk up to you, gasping when he forcefully pushed your backside down on the bed. Grabbing hold of your arms he pulled you over to the end of the bed, picking you up before you had the chance to fall to the floor.

Without a word he maneuvered you to the floor, making you sit like a pretty doll as he sat himself down at the foot of the bed. Once comfortable, he patted his lap, allowing you to crawl up and sit on his lap. Though, before you could do anything else – like reach up to kiss his lips, he turned you around.

And then it all made sense.

Looking ahead, all you could see was your reflection staring back at you. It made heat flood to your face, as you watched the wicked grin return to Sero’s face as he forced your legs apart; spreading them wide and forcing them to stay in place with the use of his knees.

“Because my pretty girl wanted me to know how nice she looked today, she can sit here just like this while I play with her.” Sero chuckled as he heard the small whines leave your lips as he slowly petted up and down your inner thighs “And get to see how lovely she looks when she cums.”

You leaned your head back to rest on his shoulders, hooded eyes gazing at your own form. Mainly at the large hands that kept slowly rubbing up and down the expanse of your body. Slowly kneading the flesh of your breasts through the lacy fabric, before on hand dipped down to rub slowly at your clothed clit.

“Naughty girl, you’re soaked already!” Sero groaned, pushing aside the thin fabric to touch your fold directly “Were you waiting for me to play with this pussy all day?”

His teasing made you keen in embarrassment as you closed your eyes and bucked your hips in his hand, wanting to feel more than just the feather light touches he was currently giving you. Though Sero was not having any more of your misbehaving, as his hand came down to smack harshly at your bundle of nerves; the stinging red-hot pain causing you to cry out.

 “I said look at yourself!” Sero growled once more, his hand moving from your breast to lock on your jaw to force you to look in the mirror “And answer me when I ask you a question. This is your last warning, Princesa.”

“S-sorry Papi! You stuttered, trying to keep your eyes focused on what he was doing to you in the mirror and keeping your hips from moving too much “Please don’t stop. Please play with my sloppy pussy!”

“Yeah, want me to play with you? Want me to stuff you with my fingers?” Sero asked, enjoying the dazed expression you were giving him in the mirror as he slowly started petting your core again.

“Yes, please!” You whine drew out your words, but you couldn’t help it.

Not when he slowly started to pump two fingers into you, starting shallow before going deeper and deeper until he was touching that spongy spot inside you that made you see stars. His steady rhythm was causing your head to toss and turn from side to side, though making sure you still kept looking at your reflection, as it drove you crazy. Especially when he would scissor his fingers, slowly forcing your clenching hole to stretch to his desires.

You felt your orgasm approaching, the burning sensation made your legs shake as your moans grew louder and needier as you called out to Sero. Out of instinct you brought a hand down to grab hold of his wrist, to keep in place as your back arched. But just as you were about to tip over the edge, Sero ripped his hand from your core. The denial caused you to sob out as you bucked your hips widely to get the friction back.

“Brats don’t get to touch!” Sero growled, taking your hand and placing it back at your side “And they don’t get to cum without permission. Isn’t that right, Princesa?”

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry Papi!” You wailed, fat tears threatening to fall from your eyes as you looked at his reflection, silently leading him for forgiveness “It won’t happen again, promise!”

“Shhhh” He cooed, rubbing his hand up and down your thigh to calm you down as his other hand moved to swipe the falling few falling tears “Be good and you’ll get to cum, okay?”

All you could do was nod your head, allowing yourself to calm down and for your breathing to go back to normal. When you felt his finger prod at your entrance once more, you had to force yourself to not buck into his hand. Or to whine in protest when his started to fuck you hard and fast with his fingers once more.

Though every time you seemed to get closer to your orgasm, Sero would pull away and try to calm you down. Reminding you to be good, or else his punishment would last even longer. It was frustrating, to say the least, you just wanted to cum after all. But you trusted Sero and knew that he was going to take care of you like he promised.

When you felt your core clench and tighten for the nth time that evening, Sero didn’t stop you from cumming. His hand that forced you to keep looking at the mirror tightened as he made sure you kept your eyes open to watch yourself, despite your mewls of discomfort over it. He didn’t let up either, he always thought you looked so pretty with your mouth agape as your face pinched in a mixture of ecstasy discomfort as he quickly pushed you over another orgasm.

“Keep looking, yeah that's it. You're gonna gush, aren't you pretty baby?” Sero asked, his fingers relentlessly hitting that special spot inside you that made you see stars.

“S’too much! Gonna cum again!” You slurred, trying to keep your eyes focused on your form in front of you but it was getting harder every second.

“Do it baby, wanna see yourself make a mess.” Sero groaned, the way your gummy walls clenched so tightly around his fingers made his cock twitch in his pants; he was going to make sure to fuck you dumb when he was done playing with you like this.

You let out a wail, your eyes crossing as your tongue involuntarily stuck itself out as you felt you cum gush out, forcing Sero’s fingers out along with it. Not that he minded, if his loud groan that accompanied your mewls was anything to go by.

“Yes, yes, yes! Good girl!” He praised, his hand coming to vigorously rub at your clit to make more of your release gush out of you and onto your thighs; soaking your comforter “That’s a good girl, yeah keep going!”

You whimpered when you felt his fingers enter you again, hand coming down to try and push him away only to have harshly slap at your clit once more and resume his attack on your core once more. The sounds of your slick echoed in the room, making you squirm in discomfort.

“P-papi, n-no more!” You sniffled, throwing your head back and crying out once more as you felt him hit your special spot again and again.

“Not a chance, Princesa.” Sero hummed, thumb coming up to rub at your sore clit “You didn’t look at yourself when you came just now, so now we got to start all over again.”

[sotheywrotestories]

The They Them Agenda

Request;

you know it :) maybe an enby reader x bucky? He's really confused by their pronouns and some fluffy explanation? ooooo or their first time sleeping in the same bed and maybe mentions of a binder and explaining what that is?

- @mad-malory

(Sorry this was so late)

Pairings; Bucky x Nonbinary Reader

Warnings; None, although there are mentions of a chest binder :)

***

Bucky grew up in a different time. Not that he necessarily had a hard time adjusting to modern times, but he wasn’t caught up with all the dynamics of the world.

Which is why he always thought (Y/N) was a group of people the Avengers out before Steve introduced them to Bucky.

“Buck, this is (Y/N), they’re from our downtown office,” Steve presented (Y/N) to Bucky, who, in fact, was only one person.

“Hi…nice to meet you,” Bucky grimaced. Not because (Y/N) had given him any reason to, but because he was so awkward.

“Hi, Bucky!” (Y/N) reached their hand out to Bucky. “It’s so nice to finally meet you! Steve talks about you all the time.”


Bucky tried to let his genuine smile come through this time.

“Likewise…I was under the impression that you were a group..but you know how Steve is,” Bucky huffed a bit.

(Y/N) gave Bucky a rather strange look. One of those “no-I-don’t-really-get-what-you-mean” looks.

“Right…well, I’m gonna go move in.” (Y/N) turned to Steve. “Thanks for letting me stay here while we rebuild, Stevie.”

(Y/N) gave one last smile to Bucky, then went on their way.

“Buck, ask (Y/N) about their pronouns when you have the chance,” Steve placed a hand on Bucky’s shoulder. “It took some getting used to, don’t worry.”

Bucky was even more confused. Not only was (Y/N) not a group of people, but now Bucky had to have them give him a grammar lesson? He knew he was old but it’s not like he forgot everything he learned way back when.

It must’ve read on his face.

“Trust me, Buck. Things are different now, people are different now. I don’t want you to accidentally hurt anyone just because you don’t know what’s going on.”

***

Bucky heard everyone in the tower refer to (Y/N) as if they were more than one person. Bucky wondered if there was some joke that he just wasn’t let in on.

“Hey, (Y/N),” Bucky smiled at (Y/N).

It wasn’t often that Bucky and (Y/N) really got to interact, they were both very busy.

(Y/N) spent most of their time studying and working from their room. Bucky liked to spend most of his time not being around people for as long as he could. So to see (Y/N) in the kitchen made him very excited.

“Morning, Buck! How have you been doing?”

“I’ve been good. Really good. I’ve been going to therapy.”

Why in the world would he share that with someone he’s interacted with once?

“I’m so good to hear that, Buck! I’m really proud of you.”

It sounded so earnest Bucky almost didn’t know what to do with himself. It wasn’t often people actually cared about what Bucky had to say. Nonetheless, someone he barely knew.

“I um..thank you.”

The pair shared a smile and (Y/N) went back to their tablet.

“Oh,” Bucky started. “Steve told me I needed to ask you about your…nouns.”

(Y/N) laughed a bit but still smiled at Bucky anyway.

“My pronouns,” (Y/N) gestured for Bucky to take a seat. “My pronouns are different than something you might be used to.”

“What do you mean.” Bucky took a seat.

“Well,” (Y/N) took a big sigh. “You know there’s she and he.”

(Y/N) paused and Bucky assumed he was meant to nod. He did.

“I’m not him or her. Gender is much more flexible now than it was when you were growing up. I use ‘they/them ‘ pronouns because I’m non-binary. Not all non-binary people use ‘they/them’, some use other pronouns and some people use Neo-pronouns.”

Bucky was trying to understand. He truly was. He was always much more accepting than anyone he ever knew back in the ’40s. It wasn’t that he thought there was something wrong with it, it was just that he didn’t understand. How couldn’t you be a boy or a girl?

“I…don’t get it,” he said with a small smile. “Were you born that way?”


(Y/N) gave Bucky a thoughtful look.

Great. He’s done something wrong.

“Gender-wise? Yes, I was born this way. I’ve been non-binary as long as I’ve been alive. Not everyone is like that. Some people discover that they’re non-binary later in their life.”

That didn’t clarify anything.

“I should preface that your gender and your biological sex are two different things.”

Oh.

Oh oh oh.

So they weren’t talking about- oh.

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” (Y/N) laughed. “My gender identity is different than the sex I was assigned at birth. But- even today, you CAN change your sex to fit who you really are.”

Bucky knew a little bit about someone being transgender, it was in the crash course Steve gave him when he really started adjusting to new life in modern times.

“Right. But your gender and sex aren’t the same things.”

“Well…,” (Y/N) heaved a sigh. “Sometimes it is, some people do let their gender and sex define each other. It really depends. That’s why it’s always best to ask someone what their pronouns are before perceiving them in any way.”

It made a little bit of sense.

“So you’re not a she or a he, you’re they,” Bucky said.

“Yes. So you know…gender-neutral. I just don’t feel comfortable being perceived as a man or as a woman, I’d rather be perceived as neither.”

“Got it. So that’s why everyone refers to you as they,” Bucky nodded.

It wasn’t a hard concept to grasp that “they” could be used in a singular term.

“Thank you for telling me,” Bucky smiled. “Sorry if I slip up and call you something else, I’ll do my best.”

“Well, thank you for listening,” (Y/N) smiled. “I look forward to working with you.”

***

Working with (Y/N) turned into hanging out with (Y/N) every minute of every day. They were so easy to be around. Hanging out with (Y/N) turned into sleepovers with (Y/N), which quickly turned into a very confusing ordeal.

They had shared a bed with Bucky before, but never when the weather had been so ungodly hot. 

Tony messed up something in the wiring and now the ac wasn’t working.

“Bucky,” (Y/N) whined, drawing out the y. “Let me use your arm it’s too hot.”

“(N/N), you’ve been hugging on my arm all day, it’s not cold anymore,” Bucky laughed. “Give it some time cool off.”

(Y/N) huffed and flopped down onto the bed.

“You’ve forced my hand, Barnes, I have to remove my clothes.”

Bucky felt his face heat up. A lot.

“You’ve caught me in m master plan,” Bucky threw his hand over his face. “I really just want to see you naked.”

“Psh- men.”

There was a moment of silence.

“Do you mind if I take off my clothes?”


Bucky gulped. “Do you? Mind? Not mine. Yours. Do you mind. Like- if I see. Would you mind? I don’t mind. I really don’t. But I don’t want to make you uncomfortable if you do mind-“

“Bucky. I don’t mind,” (Y/N) smiled. “I’ll just take off my shirt.”

Taking off their shirt, (Y/N) exposed a nude-colored strap wrapped around their body.

“Are you hurt?” Bucky exclaimed.

The piece of clothing looked very similar to the skin-color wrappings Helen would give the team when they were hurt. It’s the only time Bucky had seen anything else like it.

“No…?” (Y/N) gave Bucky a weird look. “Oh, oh no. This is my binder.”

“Binder?”

“It’s…part of being the whole non-binary thing. I’m…I really hate the way my chest looks, but I don’t really want to get surgery on it, so I wear something super tight to make my chest seem flatter than it is.”

Bucky was starting to understand that it was anything related to gender that (Y/N) didn’t like. He never thought about its physical attributes.

“Oh, okay. That makes sense. Sorry if I drew attention to it.”

“It’s fine, Buck,” (Y/N) smiled. “I should’ve warned you, I can see what it looks like to you.”


Bucky was grateful (Y/N) was so patient with him while he was learning more about people being non-binary. He truly wanted to understand everything about them before he made a move on them. Though, every time he thought he knew everything, (Y/N) has to teach him something new.

“Hey, Buck? Everything okay?” (Y/N) moved closer to Bucky. “I lost you there.”

“I just…feel so bad that you have to teach me so much,” Bucky plopped down on the bed. “It’s not your responsibility to have to teach me everything.”

(Y/N) gave him a soft smile and brushed his hair out of his face.

“I wouldn’t teach you if I thought you didn’t care. I can tell you care, that’s why I teach you so much.”

They can tell that he cares?

“You can tell?”

(Y/N) gave him the softest look he’s ever seen. “Buck, you’re easier to read than you think. I’ve been waiting on you.”

“I wanted to know everything before I made a move-“

“Why would you put that pressure on yourself, Buck?” (Y/N) sighed. “You’re never going to know everything about everything there is to know, neither will I!”

“But it’s your thing! It’s your identity!”

“And it’s always changing and there are always new things to learn. I appreciate the thought, Buck, it’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard. But you can’t put that weight on your shoulders.”

As if (Y/N) couldn’t get any more perfect.

“So…,” Bucky trailed off.

“So…make a move you goofus,” (Y/N) smiled.

And maybe he did.

[maggyme13]

Please don´t die on me... Please

AN: This is my entry for @some-piece ´s 2.5k Follower celebration.

My prompt is the title of this fic and I chose a

Platonic! Killer X Reader pairing.

Wordcount : around 1.1 k

Warnings: Battle, angst , cursing (its the kid´s pirates: duh.)

I HOPE IT IS UNDERSTANDABLE its like 10pm here and work is hell, so my brain sometimes does not really work grammar wise.

The Damage was heavy and the Victoria Punk was barely able to stay afloat since the battle started a day ago.

It all began during their stay at the last island almost a week in the past. The crew had been drinking and partying at this little bar at the edge of town for most of the day.

Killer and Heat had gotten into a drinking match that resulted in the later burping flames at one point. This paired with his love for spicy food quickly turned into a “hot” situation: the capsaicin contained in the Chili turned his breath, and therefor his flames, into bio-hazard weapon.

Because of this very reason he was banned from drinking a lot of booze while being on the sea.

The first time this happened, the men of the crew decided to try and use it to their advantage.

It failed. Horribly so. Why? His aim was off because of the alcohol concentration within his bloodstream and he burned everything down except his targets.

One of the things he burned was you.

And ohh did you not like it. You were furious and it took Killer, Wire and the Captain to get you off him. But not without getting themselves a few bumps and bruises as well. They had played their own part in the incident after all.

Now back to the situation at hand. “Captain Shakesbeer, it is a long way back to the island I hope it was worth it attacking us over just some burned hair.”, you growled down at the opposing captain who was kneeling on his deck, before jumping in the air and destroying the ship with one last haki-fueled punch.

“Now back to you lot!”, you hissed, eyeing every single male with squinted eyes, “Think about a good story you can tell me as an excuse as to why this all had to happen. I will go and make me something to drink.”

A bunch of bruised and scratched faces nodded in understanding, with not even Captain Kidd daring to bring one of his many “I am the Captain” speeches. He knew better than to argue when you were pissed and in need of something to drink.

But it would never come to that: stepping into the kitchen you froze. It had gotten damaged during the battle, the ceiling and walls had multiple holes caused by canon balls and the kitchen was in more chaos than after a drunken brawl between Captain Kidd and Killer.

You sighed, it would be a lot of work to get the kitchen back to how it was before and you cursed yourself for sinking the other ship. You could have made Captain Kidd and the others transfer the kitchen (at least what was working) to the Victoria Punk and maybe get an upgrade out of it.

But you couldn´t even think about running back on deck to see if there might be some way to salvage the wreck, because it was that moment you saw what you feared to see: Your savior in this world of drunken idiots, cruel pirates, and unpredictable weather laying between the rubble of what was once the thick oaken table that had survived far to many fights between the crew.

A screamed filled with pain and grief left your lungs and you sunk to your knees.

“no no no no no!!!”, you cursed, injuring your hands and legs trying to get the rubble out of your way.

Splinters embedded into the palms of your hands. But you did not care. You needed to save your comrade. You owed it. You couldn´t survive one day on this ship without the help you received.

While you scrambled and cursed you were fixated on the meekly shimmering lights of life you could still see, and the broken noises that reached your ears.

“Please”, you sobbed, “Please don´t die on me...Please.”

But no pleading and cursing helped, the second your fingertips touched the cold body of Winston, the lights went dark and no noise reached your ears. He was dead, and you couldnt do anything to help.

“NO!!!”, you sobbed in agony, your fists hitting the ground beneath you in anger.

Until strong, yet gentle hands grabbed your wrists and pulled you against his chest.

“Shh. Calm down, (y/n).”, Killer hummed. He was your closest friend on the Victoria Punk. The one you talked to whenever something (or someone) was on your mind. He was the one you would entrust with shopping for you on islands whenever you had watch, and he was the one you snuggled against when the crew went out for a night of drinks and you were to tired / drunk to keep going. It went so far that the crew joked you were together. But in reality, you were more like twins, two sides of the same coin.

“What´s wrong? Are you injured?”, he asked, worry clearly edging into his voice.

“NO. Well yes, but … WINSTOOOOOOOON!”, you sobbed, “He is dead! And I couldn´t do anything to help.”

A sigh left his chest and a small chuckle followed. He had feared the worst when he had heard your scream and then found you in that state.

“Winston. You are crying and screaming like this because of Winston?”, he asked for clarification.

“YES!! He is the only thing that helped me stay sane during long bouts on the sea! And now he is dead. I can see his innards.”

“(Y/N).”, he hummed, “I bet Captain Kidd can revive him.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. And I am sure it will be his top priority. And if not I am sure he, Heat and Wire will get you a new one.”

“NO! No one can replace Winston. He made the best hot cocoa ever! And the temperature for tea is always perfect. And don´t let me get started on the coffee….”

“(y/n). I bet there are machines out in the grand line that are just as good or even better. Just please: don´t cry and do not kill the Idiots before they were able to find one.”

“So it WERE those three who caused the trouble.”, you squinted, your pain over the lost of your morning beverage nearly forgotten, “They will life. At least until they got me a new coffee-machine. And it better be one worthy of a world-noble.”

A cold wave of haki pulsed through the ship, letting every single member of the crew shiver in discomfort.

“You want to go and see what is taking Killer so long to look after (y/n)?”, Heat asked his Captain on deck.

“Am I crazy? You heard her scream. And seeing that there is no fighting going on I assume the kitchen did not survive the battle. Captain would be crazy going there now. Better we wait for Killer to return and tell us what happened and in how much trouble we are.”, Wire mused and the other two nodded in acceptance. They all knew you needed your drink in the morning, and without… lets just say you were not known as the “Victorian Banshee” for no reason.

AN2.0: hihihihi, WHo would have thought about a small plotttwist like that happening? I hope thas was allowed, if not: my apologies !

So what do you think?

[champion-leon-imagines]

Chronicles of Galar - Chapter 2 Part 1: Your Past & a “kidnapping” case

I’ll split this chapter into two parts, because this chapter is kinda longish. I apologize for any dumb grammar mistakes, because this was especially hard to translate from my first language. Well, to make a short summary, this is a full-Leon featured chapter and a little fluff :3 Also a little insight about your past in Amila.

You kinda felt bad about lying to your new friends. But after Taiko had speculated almost too much about your feelings for the Galarian champion, you had to make sure that it didn't spark any more rumors.

Because you actually had something else in mind than going back to the hotel. Your brother was actually in Amila, along with President Rose, his assistant, and your father, the retired Professor of the Region of Amila. The reason you'd left the cafe so quickly was because of Leon. He really didn't looked very healthy and even if Raihan tried to talk it down, you were convinced that Leon was overwhelmed by being in the spotlight everywhere and being so in demand.

You ran around the corner of the cafe, where all the reporters had gathered around Leon and showered him with questions. You were close enough to overhear a little. “Unbeatable champion Leon, that was a masterpiece of a battle! Defeating a Gigantamax Toxtricity while Charizard was completely at a disadvantage! How did you manage that? "

"Ahahahaha ... ha .. As I already explained to your predecessor .. and those before that, Pokemon types are no guarantee for a win! Charizard and I knew we were at a disadvantage and we only eradicated this disadvantage with tactics! Nothing else. Toxtricity was very strong! ”Leon laughed and scratched the back of his head in disgrace. Who knows how often he was allowed to answer these and similar questions today ... "Champion Leon! Allow us to take a few more snapshots at the scene! Please lead us to the place where you defeated Toxtricity! ” one of the journalists demanded. You only shook your head slightly at the insolence and intrusiveness of these people. Leon also seemed to be in need of explanation. You could tell that this interview was becoming increasingly uncomfortable for him.

"So .. uhm .."

You had to step in. "Unfortunately that is impossible.", you began and stepped out of the alley. The reporters turned to you, puzzled. Leon recognized you and blinked slightly perplexed. "And why is it impossible?" One of the reporters wanted to know and eyed you suspiciously. “Because the Toxtricity are currently breeding and mating. That is exactly why the accident with the Gigantamax happened. The Toxtricity only protected its babies. Right, Champion Leon? ” You asked, winking at him. Leon looked at you completely taken aback before he cleared his throat. “U-Uhm yes, I accidentally fell into a Toxtricity nest and the mother must have thought I was an enemy! We- We should leave them alone! ”He nodded. Now that Leon confirmed it, the journalists believed you.

“Well, then of course that won't work. But we still have some questions for- "

"I have to disappoint you there too, gentlemen.", You quickly intervened directly and fought your way through the crowd until you reached Leon and grabbed his arm. "But our champion has a very important appointment that he is way too late because of you." “Who are you anyway?” One of the men finally wanted to know.

“I am the daughter of the CEO of Aerial Industries, Amila's largest commercial company. And the manager wants to speak to Leon immediately. And your uncooperative behavior will only get him into trouble. So please excuse us now. “, You spoke then and simply dragged Leon past the reporters and onlookers. "Hold on, wait. Aerial Industries is interested in Champion Leon? We'd like to know more about that! ”One of them shouted, but you were already starting to run with Leon. “I'm really sorry, gentlemen. But it's still confidential between Leon and Aerial! We are not authorized to give further information! ”You shouted before you let go of Leon at some point after you were sure that the men weren't following you.

"I thought your father was Amila's professor? You didn't say he's also the CEO of Aerial Industries? ”Leon mumbled, perplexed.

"He isn't." You smirked, which made Leon even more confused. "But I couldn't get you out of there any other way." "You have ..", Leon started in shock, pointing at you with his gloved hand. “I took you out of this interview on purpose, yes. Because they pushed you pretty hard. You've already explained everything and they just haven't left you alone. And you looked so burned out I just had to act. Sorry. ", You said and clasped your hands apologetically. Leon just stood there, speechless, blinking. Then he started to laugh sincerely and put his hands on his hips. "I see. So that's how it was. Well, thank you very much for saving me. ", He smiled and when you looked into his face, you only noticed happiness and serenity. "Then you are not mad that I interfered?", You asked. Only now did you realized that you had acted on an impulse and that you had already intervened before your thought process was over. "Of course not.", The purple-haired smirked and put his hand on your head. “To be honest, that really came in handy for me. Who knows how long that interview went without you .. ", he sighed exhausted and took off his cap to fan himself with it. "Mmm, it must be exhausting to have so much hustle and bustle around you all the time.", You lamented. Leon laughed lightly and nodded. "That's it. Sometimes ... I don't want to be a champion anymore. I would just like to have some time for myself again .. A .. Mhm yes a short break .. and if it's only one day .. Does that sound selfish of me? ", He asked you. “No, why should it be selfish? You work almost non-stop, you go all over Galar for press conferences, photo shoots, while you make sure that Galar stays in balance and protect people and Pokemon. You really deserve a day off. ",You nodded. Leon then smiled in relief. “Thank you for seeing it that way too. Unfortunately, I can't allow myself to do that. ", He sighed. "Why not?"

"Well, I don't know where to go .. Everyone in Galar knows me .. and .. I wouldn't have a quiet minute," Leon mumbled. "What if you just spend the day off somewhere else?" You suggested. "Somewhere else..?"

You didn't answered him at all and just grinned when you grabbed his hand again and ran to the nearest Corviknight taxi. "Ah, hello there, where do you want to go?"the taxi driver asked and fed two Corviknight some berries. "Do you fly overseas?", You wanted to know and Leon looked at you questioningly. “You mean in other regions? Well, we have special taxi couriers for that. Which region do you want to go to? ”He asked. "Alola."

"Heh? Alola? ”Leon asked surprised. You smiled and paid the taxi driver. "Yep. A short trip to a vacation paradise. Perfect for our little break. ", You giggled. "Break? So it's not your honeymoon, sweeties? ", The taxi driver smiled and saw the young couple blush and gesticulate with their hands in panic. "No, no, no .. We are not .. So .. Haha .. Come on, let's just get in.", You laughed embarrassed and dragged a blushing Leon behind you.

You took a seat in the large gondola that was carried by the birds and tried to forget the embarrassing situation as quickly as possible. As a result, there was initially a rather uncomfortable silence while the gondola with the Corviknights started moving and the approximately four-hour flight to Alola began. You thought about how you had spontaneously persuaded Leon to run away with you, even though you didn't know each other very well. At this realization you gripped your head with a sigh. This action caught the champion's attention, and he looked at you when he became slightly concerned about your strange behavior. "Are you okay ..?" He asked. TYou blinked before you realized that you had sighed audibly and waved embarrassedly. "Yes everything is fine. I ... just feel a little bold. After all, I almost kidnapped you, didn't I? ”You asked with a slight laugh. Leon smiled and crossed his arms. “You could almost call it that. But .. As I said, this little break is very convenient for me, that's why .. you will be forgiven that you 'kidnapped' me. ", He said and winked slightly. You smiled at his answer and relaxed again. Even if you didn't know each other as well as you thought, the mood between you had been quite exuberant and relaxed since you had met in the Slumbering Weald. It was a sympathy that was hard to explain. "I am happy about that. Now it's time to go to Alola. How long did the taxi driver think the flight would take? ”You asked. “About 4 hours. Maybe half an hour more, in case the Corviknight need a break and have to rest. ", The purple-haired man thought and crossed his arms. “It's still a long time. Now that we have to sit around here anyway .. how about if we use the time wisely? ”He asked. "With pleasure. What do you mean with 'use our time wisely'? A fight is hardly an option. “, You thought and looked around. There was really not much space in the gondola ..

"That's probably true .."Leon answered with a slight grin. “I was also more likely to think that it would be a good opportunity for us to find out more about each other. We already know a few things from the phone calls and other meetings, but .. there is still a lot that concerns me, ”he then admitted. "What are you concerned about? About me? “, You asked perplexed and pointed to yourself. Leon nodded. "Yes. For example, you said you were born in Amila. But you grew up in Sinnoh for several years of your life. You even started your journey as a trainer in Sinnoh. Why? Why not in Amila and why did you live in Sinnoh? Please forgive me if these questions are too private. Basically we're just acquaintances, ”he added quietly and scratched his bearded jaw. “Don't be silly, Leon. We are no longer acquaintances. We are friends. Well .. at least that's how I see it. ", You then spoke lightly. Leon then gave you an illegible look before smiling and showing you his signature grin. "Yes. I see it that way too. I was just a little worried about whether it was still too early to tell me something like that, "he added. You shook your head slightly at him. “But I want to tell you. I know that you can be trusted, champion. ", You started with a smile and then leaned back on your seat. "Well .. In our family, we were a bit short on domestic bliss for a very long time. But .. that is a bit longer story .. ", You sighed. “But we have time. You know, in Amila there was a trainer school academy in Sonnfelden. And every child had to go to this school when they turned 5. There you were trained and prepared to be a trainer for 5 years. That's where I met Cynthia too, you know. "

“Ah, the champion from Sinnoh? She was in the semifinals of last year's Champion Cup. That was a close match between Steven Stone and her. ", Leon remembered. You nodded. “She is not only the champion of Sinnoh, but also something like my big sister. But I'll get to that in a moment. In any case, she also attended the academy when she was younger, since her family was also from Amila, you know. And when I came to the academy, of course, she had been outside for a few years. But she stayed as a visiting professor and taught us a lot. For example, she helped me back when we got a loaned Pokemon in our second year. You get a Pokemon egg that you have to take care of and so that you get a feel for the Pokemon. During this time, Cynthia and I became very good friends, although of course she was much older than me. I just saw her as a big sister. Unfortunately, she had to go back to Sinnoh a year before I graduated, but she assured me that I could always go to her if I had worries .. And I made use of that faster than we both would have liked .. ”, you began and looked at your hands. Leon noticed the slight change in your mood. "What happened?" He asked, taking off his cap to place it on yours in a comforting gesture. You smiled and adjusted the cap before sighing deeply. "My parents were about to get divorced," you explained. “Although they could probably pull themselves together again to some extent. But suddenly they started arguing again and .. the evening before my final exam  .. I found out the real reason I as born. ", You said and bit your lip lightly. Although the events were in the past, it still seemed to be a burden somewhere. And now that you thought about it, Leon was the first person to tell all this to. “Our parents' marriage was about to end before I was born. The harmony had long been gone and my father took refuge every now and then in the arms of other women because my mother just didn't gve him what he needed anymore. Anyway, my mom decided to just stop taking the pill and get my dad to ... sleep with her one night when she was particularly fertile. The result came quickly and ... yes. And believe me, it's not a nice feeling to hear that your parents only got you to save their marriage. ", You sighed. "I understand that .. Above all, you were very young. That must have been a shock .. ", Leon said quietly and put his hand on your shoulder. You just nodded slightly. "That was. I just felt so misunderstood and of course confronted both of them with what they meant by that. And then ... I found out the true circumstances of their marriage and ... that I have an older brother in addition to Kaito. "

"Wait ... you didn't even know before that Mamoru was your brother? Did he grew up somewhere else too? ”Leon sounded confused, but at least one could understand that. You smiled sadly. “Well, Mamoru had drawn an even worse fate with these people than I did. Or it was more of a benefit to him who knows. Anyway .. after my brother was born, there was an attack from a wild Gengar in Sonnfelden. There was an university too, where father studied archeology and mother studied medicine. They tried to stop the Gengar, but it got out of hand and used.. Dream Eater on my hypnotized mother. She lost her memories ... of her entire life because of this. Her husband and son. Then father decided to get my brother to his brother, our uncle Brian, in Bad Lavastadt, Hoenn. They wanted to get him back when the therapies made Mother able to remember and feel better. But .. after seeing how happy my brother was with Uncle Brian and his wife, they no longer had the heart to do it. Since then, the harmony between our parents had diverged. They barely had anything to say to each other, they also no longer exchanged loving gestures and gradually the marriage of the two broke up more and more, until my father finally thought of a divorce .. ", You mumbled. "... and to avoid the divorce, your mother thought, a child would somehow save the marriage or keep them together?" Leon asked and squeezed your shoulder slightly affectionate in an attempt to give you further comfort. "Yes. That was the ulterior motive of my conception. And somehow they made me feel that quite often, but I never thought anything about it .. Until I found out why I was born .. "

"What happened after that?"

“The relationship with my parents was down. And I hadn't passed the final exam either, precisely because my nerves were so shaky and the whole situation at home just finished me off. I just had to get out of there. That was the only thing I could think of. Then I remembered what Cynthia had said to me before she left .. That she would always have her arms open for me and that I could always come to her .. Just .. how should I travel to Sinnoh as a 9 year old child? … Father's Alakazam .. “, you then began. “Father's Alakazam can read the minds of us humans. And if you imagine a place very strongly and your wish is big enough ... then the powerful teleport from Alakazam will manage to transport you there. And you can surely guess who I was thinking of, right? ", "Cynthia?"

You nodded. “You should have seen her puzzled face when I suddenly appeared in front of her. I told her everything and afterwards she took me to her grandmother in Celestic Town. So that's how it started, that's why I went to Sinnoh. That's why I started my career as a trainer there, and that's why Cynthia and Professor Carolina are like a family to me. " "And your brother? I mean .. You are in good contact with your parents again, don't you? Did Mamoru know about it too? I mean that the people who raised him weren't his real parents? ”Leon wanted to know. “I think Uncle Brian couldn't take it anymore and told him. At the time, however, I had been in Sinnoh for a long time. Mamoru and I didn't even knew each other until then. We met after I got home because Mother got sick. Very sick. But don't worry, she's fine. But he should tell you himself how it is with Mamoru and our parents. If I do that, he'll surely get angry. ", You laughed a little. Leon nodded and smiled. “Thank you for this private glimpse into your life and your family. I want to return this favor and ... that's why I'll tell you something about myself that nobody else knows. Not even my best friend, Raihan. ”Leon began. "Wait .. If even your best friend doesn't know about it, then you shouldn't tell anyone else ..", You mumbled, embarrassed. Leon laughed softly and waved. "But I want to show you that I trust you as much as you trust me."

“That's nice of you, but you don't need that. If I didn't knew that you trust me, I wouldn't have told you the story in the first place. ", You smiled. "Fine. But at some point I'll tell you whether you want to or not. ", Leon laughed and winked at you charmingly. "Thanks for the warning."

[expired-monster-craft-smp]

Vibes Dream SMP members give off (in my opinion)

Dream

Barked at people in high school ironically but it became unironic real quick

Can’t cook very well but is good with a knife, especially at a fast pace

One of those kids who either purposely spells the first word wrong in a spelling bee to just be done with it right away or tries the hardest and manages to win (there is no inbetween for this heathen)

Bites ice cream with his teeth

Has snorted pixie stix far too many times and sneezed blue after each time

Eats bananas with the peels

Wears mismatched socks

Has taken a bite out of a pool noodle because he liked the texture and impulsively bit it (ADHD things✨😌)

Walks around looking extremely high but he’s just spacin out and stuck in his head

Dreams (lmao) in Minecraft and video games in general

Will flirt with anything that moves but has no idea how to respond to compliments

Makes fun of himself first before anyone else can

Has eaten an orange peel and it wasn’t that bad in his humble opinion

Wears khaki shorts

Eats the wax part of the baby bell cheese

Doesn’t actually know what genre his music taste is cause he vibes to everything

Georgenotfound

Picks at the skin on his lip when it’s dry so it bleeds and he tries not to give in by licking his lips often enough to the point where it became a habit

Wears velcro shoes because he doesn’t feel like tying them (he knows how, he just doesn’t wanna do it)

Eats peanut butter straight from the jar

Makes that disgusting “ants on a log” thing (celery stick filled with peanut butter topped with a row of raisins)

Can’t drink milk plain, it’s gotta have some sort of flavour

Can draw a perfect straight line but his circles look Terrible

Eats cheez-its like cereal without milk

Loves making little noises so much like he walks around his house doin chores and he’s just goin “memememenownownwnkwkshskshkshskhs”

Hates wearing socks

Coloured his tongue with highlighters because they’re non-toxic

Constantly tapping his feet and hands to a song/beat playing in his head

I can’t imagine this man using a bike of any sort, so Imma say he doesn’t know how

Can’t be licked by dogs because he’s used to being licked by his cat so it makes him uncomfortable

Can actually sing pretty well but gets real nervous in front of people so he fucks it up

Sapnap

No idea how to cook anything other than Mac and cheese please help this man

Meows at cats because he wants to confuse them and laughs Way too hard when he does (his laugh is like sunshine so I’ll allow it)

Would be fantastic at braiding hair Idk why

Gives the BEST fuckin hugs EVER

When singing, he makes noises for the instrumental parts too

Wanted to play the drums at one point

Really likes pit bulls but he’s more of a cat person so he loves them from afar

Only vaguely knows how to shave his face properly without hurting himself

Opportunities for him come up out of pure luck but mans is skilled for them so it works out well almost Always

Used to or currently has a skateboard and isn’t too bad

ALWAYS has bruises appearing everywhere for no reason, he doesn’t even know where 90% of them are from

Calls his friends twinks to jokingly bully them and gets away with it because he himself is not a twink

Gets sudden bursts of energy in the middle of the night and just shimmies around a bit to try and deal with it

Favours spearmint over peppermint

Arsonist

Banned from three (3) Dave & Busters in Texas

Badboyhalo

Washes his hands after doing literally anything

Likes the bird exhibits at the zoo (specifically the penguins)

Very good at cooking, best at soups and stews

If he painted his nails they would definitely be a baby blue

Overthinks very simple things and it makes him look less smart than he actually is

Drinks tap water

Probably prefers whiskey over beer

Knows how to tap dance a bit

Surprisingly good at taking and handling shots

Steady hands

Adds extra chocolate to hot chocolate

Plays sudoku and is really really good at it (only uses pen when he plays)

Everytime he sees a Himalayan salt lamp he NEEDS to lick it despite knowing it’s very salty and he’ll pull a face afterwards

Not great at Rock Paper Scissors

Wears sunglasses inside for no reason at all, he just,,,Does

Still has a stuffed animal from childhood perched on his bed

Probably tried his hand at archery

Tommyinnit

He has no idea how to use a baby voice on children or animals, so he just talks to them normally

Wears socks to bed

His fingers are double jointed

Always starts twitching if he stays still for too long because he’s gotta move around

His shoes and have different laces and it bothers everyone but himself

Doodles on himself in class when he’s bored or not paying attention

Has really good hearing, both with pitch and volume

Can’t eat tomato’s by themselves, it’s either gotta be in sauce form or with something else

FUCKING LOVES STRING CHEESE

Terrible handwriting

Favourite part of a slice of bread is the crust

Wants to paint his nails black to be cool and edgy but his hands are far from steady and he has no clue how to paint nails

Pretty affectionate with close friends (like Tubbo and Wilbur) off stream/camera

He likes pears for some reason

Wilbur Soot

Is constantly having to decide between leaving his hair as is or shaving all of it off

He also thinks about adding some colour but never actually does

Most tea is gross to him

Everytime he puts a breath mint thats circular in his mouth, he pretends it’s a pill and he’s taking drugs because he thinks that’s funny

He does that vacant state as a joke but that really what he looks like when he’s spacing out

Likes to aggressively flirt with his male friends but if his female friends flirt with him, he gets a bit flustered

Has probably accidentally swallowed a guitar pick

Once drank two entire jars of pickle juice

Bonks his head on anything and everything

He has broken a pair of glasses by walking face first into a pole outside

Thinks kinetic sand is fun

Has passionate arguments with others about trivial and random topics like chicken feet

Can open a beer bottle with his teeth

Would accidentally pop and swallow a bracket if he had braces

Tubbo

Hates sharp cheddar cheese

Everytime he learns a new word it’s in every sentence he says for the next week or so

Ate candle wax for a dare once

Doesn’t know how to tie a tie and will probably never learn

Wanted to do ballet at one point but decided not to

He has eaten multiple flowers for absolutely no reason other than wanting to know how they taste

Starts vibrating if he’s too excited

Used to bite his nails

ABSOLUTELY DESPISES MUSTARD

Has eaten paper and says it doesn’t taste that bad

Enjoys telling his friends how much they mean to him (this has resulted in Tommy and Wilbur crying on a few seperate occasions)

Spaces out a lot and doesn’t often pay attention to his surroundings

Gets lost inside of Best Buy’s

Likes s’mores but doesn’t properly understand how to make them

Technoblade

Learned to cook purely out of spite and found it’s actually pretty fun

Constantly getting smacked in the face by trees when walking outside

Really likes apple pie

Everytime he looks at potatoes he thinks of all the hours he spent trying to win the potato war

Starts things as a joke and gets too into it

Doesn’t like the taste of most energy drinks

Has rubbed salt and lemon juice into an open wound to just,,see how it felt (he did it once and Hated it but did it again because he forgot what it felt like)

Sometimes hates how quiet he is because everyone he knows is loud and talks over him

Despite how he is portrayed in the Dream SMP, he is extremely loyal to his friends and would kill for them

Over seasons his food because he can’t taste it otherwise

Really good balance

Doesn’t like to wear bright colours, but still enjoys wearing colours

Good at knitting

Quackity

Actually fairly quiet when off camera

Will accidentally use Spanish grammar while speaking English sometimes

Country music confuses him

Doesn’t really like kids but they really like him

Can’t dance

Hardest drugs he’s ever done is second hand smoke from a cigarette and children’s Tylenol

His favourite jolly ranchers are the red and blue ones

He uses lighters as fidget toys basically

Will have a breakdown, take a bubble bath, and call himself the self care king

Dehydrated

Wants a pet rat but he already has a cat and doesn’t wanna risk anything

Constantly questions why his main source of income is playing Minecraft with two 16 year olds

Karl Jacobs

Probably ate a spider once

Would wear those socks that are like gloves for you feet where it separates all the toes

Eats ravioli straight from the can, cold

Can answer an incredibly complex math equation fairly easily but will stumble over 12x11

Loves kids so much and speaks to them in a soft voice

Tried making ramen in a coffee pot and broke it

Drinks 2 monster energy drinks a day on average

Likes to open walnuts with his teeth but doesn’t actually eat them

The embodiment of that one John Maulany joke where he says you could spill soup in his lap and HE’D apologize to YOU

Loves physical affection so so much!!!!

If he moves his wrists in a certain way, they pop Really Loudly

Fantastic at making cookies

Fundy

Lowkey actually a furry but more on like, a cat boy level than fursuit level

Drives a Honda Civic

Likes ABBA

Adds parsley to almost anything he makes food-wise

Loves garlic bread so much, he’d commit a federal crime for it

Middle child vibes

Decent at skiing

Good at singing but isn’t terribly confident

Seems responsible at first glance but in reality he’s pretty chaotic and childish

Bad at spelling

Always cuts his nails way too short so they always feel weird/hurt

Likes bracelets and rings

Thinks pastel colours slap

JSchlatt

Despite the character he plays, he’s actually really sweet

He’s genuinely that cryptic off camera as he is on camera

Can cook but chooses not to most of the time

Would probably say “what pussy size you wear” to anyone who asks him to buy pads

Not actually as intimidating as he appears to be

Lowkey would fight a child

Shuts down when someone compliments him, often using aggression as a front because holy shit they just called him handsome and kind what the Fuck-

Jokingly says his license is suspended but in all actuality he never got his license in the first place

He has two (2) extra teeth but they don’t need to be removed so he kept them

Has a stick n poke of a stickman on his ankle he got in high school

Likes physics

This is already very long, and I still plan on adding more.

[quillquiver]

Alex’s Big Nerdy Destiel Canon Rant

I love talking about canon: what it is, what gets to be part of canon, etc. so I want to add my two cents to all the discourse! To my mind, yeah, literary theory uses the word ‘canon’ to describe the complete text (including subtext), but like... that definition isn’t necessarily useful in a fannish context, and it’s certainly not useful in the Destiel fandom.

Just hear me out: even deciding what is part of SPN canon text-wise is a mine-field. Are we counting what Jensen and Misha have said at cons? Are we counting tweets? What about the series of SPN tie-in books that exist? If all these things are paratext, and we’re really only looking at what has been said on the show that’s cool, but I suspect that many people have differing opinions on what SPN canon even consists of! And this makes a lot of sense: the show has been around for 15 years, and the fandom is composed of a whole bunch of people whose ideas about canon, even coming into the fandom, are probably pretty different. Plus, we’re an online fandom, so things are de-centralized and it’s wayyyy harder to even agree on or establish a definition of what the actual, canonical source text even consists of. 

Setting that aside, language has also always evolved to suit the needs of the community using it. Queer culture, for example, re-appropriates, reclaims and creates new terms all the time (that then may get picked up in mainstream media, where the meaning may change yet again!). Because fandoms can sometimes drastically differ in terms of language usage, I can’t speak to other fandoms besides the ones I’m in. But! By my reckoning, Destiel fandom took the word canon, (which in a perfect world refers to a single, total, indisputable source text, subtext included), and changed its meaning. In the linguistics world, this is called a semantic change! We’ve largely removed ‘subtext’ from one of the things we consider canon, because that doesn’t suit our purposes - due to the really fraught history between SPN creators and DeanCas fans, canon for us has come to mean something different. But more on that later.

At this point, I know a lot of people are gonna argue with me. BUT THAT MAKES IT SOUND LIKE THERE’S AN AGENDA! LANGUAGE IS OBJECTIVE! IT’S A TOOL! To which I say: language has never ever been objective, because people aren’t objective. If you think that language does not exist to serve a purpose, consider the assimilation of Indigenous peoples through the use of English. Or the fact that the Ancient Greeks used to describe colour differently than we do, because that served them better. Language always exists so we can better communicate and understand each other, and policing it has always been a form of subjugation, whether that be through the policing of what language or dialect you are/are not allowed to speak, or how to speak it. One of my profs loved to remind us that grammar is classist - as long as we can understand each other, how something is spelled really shouldn’t matter. 

But back to SPN. We as a general fandom have a really unique relationship to our content producers. We always have. It’s the reason we’re the go-to case study when fan studies scholars want to look at the fan/producer relationship in western media fandom. Destiel fandom? An even more fraught relationship, because for a very long time, the producers did not consider Destiel as part of the canon of their own show. If they had, we wouldn’t be having this conversation! But the first time SPNs narrative even deigned entertain the idea of Destiel as existing seriously and explicitly in the narrative, it was during their 200th episode, and it was a “you have your interpretation, we have ours”, which super invalidates the mocking hell they put us through beforehand. The fact that DeanCas fans have been condescended to and queerbaited for so long means that, largely, we’ve decided that DeanCas canon cannot and does not include subtext... even though, yes, the existence of Destiel romantic subtext technically means the ship is, was and has always been canon (i.e. part of the complete episodic source text). After being told you’re delusional, you’re wrong, you’re crazy for so many years, the idea of a canon DeanCas became entwined with the idea of explicit, incontrovertible romantic text in the show, because it’s not only about Dean and Cas... it’s about the recognition that our reading is also correct. That we were right all along.

People will argue with me here, but don’t misunderstand me: I’m not saying that fandom needs approval or validation from the creators - we really, really don’t. Whatever we see in any show is canon just by virtue of it being there, and so is a valid reading, and that is definitely enough. But SPN is nothing if not the exception to almost every rule, because context: 12 years of being told you’re insane by the people in the diver’s seat, and 15 years of having this on-and-off fraught relationship with creators in a way that had previously never happened. SPN fans are close to the writers and producers and actors in a way that very few other shows are, and we have been for a long-ass time. The writer’s room is an authority, for sure, but they’re also like a group of fans we're constantly at odds with, and that means we treat them like we would other fans. We discuss, we ask questions, we argue. And yeah, the mentality of fighting over ownership of the narrative is one that is very early 2000s, but considering that’s when the show started, it’s not a surprise that it never really left us. In other words: because of our closeness to TPTB and our history with them, there’s a desire for recognition and validation (vindication?) that is unique, but nonetheless there and important.

Back to canon. In the literary world, canon is used to describe a complete text (which again, people have a hard time agreeing on what that even consists of), but it’s also used to describe a complete body of literature. For example, you often hear literary scholars talking about “British literary canon”. Here, canon is used as a way of organizing the most important, worthwhile works of a community, and so is also used as a tool of exclusion and subjugation. Canon excludes people, like BIPOC and women writers, to serve the most powerful culture’s interests - it has a very specific purpose. In this same way, I’ve seen people using their own definitions of canon to invalidate the feelings, experiences and definitions of other fans. For example, there have been a couple posts floating around saying that we absolutely and in no uncertain terms need to use the canonical definition of literary theory (one single, subtext-included source text to rule them all) and I have an issue with that because first of all, not everyone knows literary theory, and second of all... why? Canon is and always has been a polysemic term - it has multiple meanings. The OG example of this is religious canon: it eventually stabilized, but like, I’m Greek Orthodox, and my bible does not look the same as that of a Catholic Christian. But to hear both sides talk, they each have the real canon. So canon can mean something different depending on who you’re talking to, even when you’re talking about the same thing. The important thing is that whatever a community decides is canon, that’s it. That’s what canon becomes. 

But what if your community doesn’t have one single definition, because canon means something slightly different to everyone? Well, that’s also fine! Because again, language is only there to allow us to understand each other. If we’ve all been talking about canon and largely understanding one another for the past 12 years, that means we actually never had to have these kinds of conversations, because we largely agreed that subtext was not canon, and destiel never really left the subtext. But we just had Castiel confess his love to Dean (still reeling from that), and so the minutiae of what constitutes canon (a kiss, a hand-hold, a love confession) is suddenly pertinent and important - because we’re all on the same side, but we all have slightly different ideas regarding the details, and who the heck knows what we’re gonna get in the finale, if we even get anything. So we’re all talking and yelling at each other, all trying to say my very specific definition is the right one because xyz when in reality... all of us are right. 

Believe it or not, this discourse about what the minutiae of canon is, is actually how we come to a more specific definition. That takes years, and will be infinitely more difficult in a community that is so de-centralized and whose members are always changing, but it’ll eventually happen. Maybe. For now, though: your definition? That’s the right one for you. 

Do not let anyone shame you for thinking Destiel was already canon, or not thinking it is by the end, or insisting their definition is the best, right and only one. Canon is a polysemic term, and that means your reading is in there. But that also means everyone else’s is, too. 

[rigelmejo]

march - just some thoughts

i have read more this month than any other month? and its not slowing down its only 3/12 so i have 2/3 of a month to go and i’ve read 26 chapters. even if these chapters are ‘short’ at 10 pages, if i wanna count by ‘20 page’ chunks i’ve still read 13 chunks so far. and i’ve still got more time in the month left. most other months i’ve managed to read ‘a lot’ i read 10-20 chapters. so i’m doing really good.

grammar is a weird thing? in reading i feel like its quite easy now to understand. when listening or watching - same. and yet if asked ‘why do i say/type X’ or ‘why is it written/spoken like X’ i have absolutely no explanation in my head. i could not explain the grammar if prompted. this puts me in a weird place and i feel like i SHOULD go over a grammar guide again just so i can WORD what i’m intuitively understanding.

this is a bit bizarre to me because within the first 6 months of study i DID read through an entire grammar guide just to get an idea of what i was about to look at, and it hardly made sense once actually reading/watching/listening. i understood the guide fine, but actually Seeing chinese i was still confused. i would reference AllSetLearning’s Chinese Wiki on some basic points, then after 6 months i just stopped. now its been what 1.5 years and - reading is so easy, listening is so easy, grammar wise. none of the grammar confuses me. but i no longer ‘explicitly’ have any idea what the fuck the grammar is. i used to. i studied it explicitly before trying to read/listen. and yet now that i can read/listen, i have no idea how to explain the grammar. i can listen to a podcast and i don’t think about what the grammar is i just get it. i read and just know what i’m looking at. its like english - i cannot fucking explain it. Which makes speaking/writing a bit hard. Because when i try to check if i’m right i have no fucking clue HOW anymore - i just say/write what comes to mind and HOPE it makes sense. i have no way to conciously check for errors except ‘does this feel right’? And that’s not good enough for me lol. So I definitely do need to eventually read a grammar guide for explicit explanations again.

Technically I think “English and Chinese Grammar Side By Side” grammar book would be an excellent one to use. Because i read the first 50 pages of it and it compared it to english (so it explained english too), and it was very easy to understand and started basic then got more involved. 

I’m probably gonna use my very old Chinese Grammar Self Taught by Thimm book instead. Just because I really like that book. Then I guess use another after (probably Basic Chinese Sentence Patterns since its modern and perfect for ‘catch your own mistakes’ study and much shorter than Eng+Chinese Grammar side by side). 

Anyway I’m in a very weird place right now lol. I know i’m understanding grammar that is stuff I never even studied initially in the grammar guide, but unable to explain what it is, and a lot of stuff i did explicitly study in a grammar guide i completely forgot the explanation for. My reading and listening is GREAT, because all my effort only has to go into learning new words lately! its relaxing! Its the only part i need to do! But my writing/speaking i am very concerned about because being able to check myself for mistakes is something i’d like the ability to do.

how grammar is presented really makes a difference in how well i get it. there is some serious benefit to ‘show simple first then build up what you know’ that text books tend to prefer. versus like grammar reference books that may start with some in depth stuff.

i tried to read a japanese grammar guide the other day and 1 it was great but 2 it covered some ADVANCED stuff i never learned in genki 1+2, and so it was Explicit grammar description of stuff i had literally years ago been immersing in japanese and Still not conciously known about. So i felt. Overwhelmed lol. I felt so confused. I feel like I might switch to Tae Kim’s grammar guide primarily just because its structured with basics covered first. and i feel like until the basics are again glued into my brain, seeing even more advanced stuff just confused me so much i had no idea how to remember it. which is funny because? my usual strategy with grammar guides is to just read it and let what sticks stick and what is confusing be moved on from, in the hope i will later see it again and understand it better. so like based on what i usually do i should’ve just been able to read through it (and i’m gonna try anyway lol). but truly japanese grammar just... my mind does not like wrapping around it and remembering it. (chinese grammar is so much easier for me... so much easier....;-; )

i have been tempted to just Restart Nukemarine’s LLJ (Lets Learn Japanese) memrise decks, because I KNOW they worked for me last time really really well. And they include Tae Kim grammar lessons. And I know if i did it then maybe i’d get back to where i was years ago pretty fast.

I tried Earthlingo app. Its a cool idea, I don’t think its worth it though unless you planned to get Rosetta Stone (since Earthlingo is FREE). Earthlingo features 1000 words per language, taught to you by exploring video game worlds as an alien. Its a cool concept, but since all words seem to be nouns then you aren’t even learning the most common verbs/adjectives. And 1000 words is not a lot. And you could learn 1000 quite fast if using srs flashcards like Memrise or Anki (think weeks if you push yourself, and a month or two months if going at a regular pace). Earthlingo you have to slowly explore the worlds so that eats time, you have to choose to test yourself (so you don’t review nearly as often as flashcard apps), and one test includes walking around the world clicking the object which you’re given the word for (takes time to find the right object). All this means a word that might take maybe 15 minutes to study over a few weeks, might instead take much longer to study and learn. I don’t use duolingo because it generally covers so few words (usually 2000-4000 i think which is good for a beginner resource but you have to do the WHOLE course to get to all those words and i take so long on duolingo that could take YEARS for me versus a month on a flashcard app or clozemaster). Duolingo I also don’t use because it very slowly paces learning material (it takes me months/years to get through 1000 words on duolingo - just personally i go so slow on it, i think faster people would find a use for it). Likewise Lingodeer takes me AGES to get through (and i think covers 2000 words nowadays? I’m shocked Duolingo has more words for the japanese course tbh). However, Lingodeer is by far the best ‘app’ for Japanese grammar lessons in app practice form. Even if basically all the apps feel pretty slow to me in how fast they give you new info. Earthlingo is cool that its free, and for learners 12 and under i think it would be super useful as a way to engage them and keep them studying (since what child likes flashcards? whereas as a child i would’ve loved this). But as an adult Earthlingo is sooooo slow on how fast you can learn words, and it does not even offer very many words (1000 is a nice bare minimum but without verbs/adjectives it can only be a supplementary learning tool for beginners at best).

Link about Lingodeer having 2000 words in a course. (Since its SO hard to lookup how much vocabulary lingodeer includes :c )

Nukemarine’s LLJ memrise decks (which I’m considering going through again but ToT agh flashcardssssss.... they sure do work though agh)

http://www.chinese-grammar.com/beginner/ - this is the site I read a chinese grammar guide on at like Month 3. I am rereading it now maybe it will help me remember wtf grammar explicitly is. ToT (A tip, read Beginner, Intermediate, Advanced sections). Last time I visited the site you just clicked a section, then saw each fully explained grammar point and clicked ‘next’ it was nice. Now its laid out a little less ideal for me, but its still got all the same nice info! (Also honestly if you are a beginner I really DO like this grammar guide... it introduces basic info first, gradually gets more complex, and i could follow its logic knowing like 200 hanzi and 100 words ToT. its very easy to understand even if it takes a while to apply that info).

im probably gonna read hanshe more today. i’m at the point where either i know enough vocab, or the writers style has just ‘clicked’ idk. but now i just am not getting bogged down by unknown words and am just. speeding through enjoying the plot. Also rip me this novel has 155 chapters and im only on chapter 30.

watching japanese lets plays is really fun! i feel like im 3 years old cause i just see nouns i can learn pretty easy in context cause i know the game well, and hear some vaguely familiar verbs, but its fun! also it helps i know kingdom hearts 2 like by heart so. a lot of it makes me instantly cheerful and nostalgic. roxas’s voice is so cute in the japanese version.

oh i almost forgot: I found a book recently for chinese that for it’s like 10 page grammar guide summary at the beginning ALONE i think is more than worth the 4 dollars it costs to get. It has a ton of compound words and its a reference book in mandarin and cantonese (it has pronunciation for both, all characters are in traditional). I got it initally because it as a bunch of compound words and I’d like to get better at knowing a lot of common ones. But the intro to the book has a page explaining sentence structures in chinese, then examples. Its so straightforward and to the point. I love it. The book is “Understanding Chinese: A Guide to the Usage of Chinese Characters” by Rita Mei-Wah Choy. (There is also a companion book for individual hanzi, which is nice but this book specifically I’m finding more useful).

what i really like about Listening-Reading method, and reading, as study activities: no matter how I do them it is only improvement. I have a tendency to ‘redo’ material i don’t feel i fully mastered, or refuse to move on. So when i have duolingo, flashcards (sometimes i can move on if i ignore reviews/make myself do new stuff), books, grammar guides, self guided classes - i have a tendency to redo the material. over and over. and not progress and challenge myself. whereas with reading - every time i look up a word its useful because its new or something i clearly Need to review (not something i’ve actually learned and can move past reviewing). so whether i reread material or read new stuff, as long as i run into things i find somewhat challenging (feel the desire to word look up), i know i am running into new material i can learn. Same with listening-reading method: whether i finish a book or just skip to random books, any new chapter i do will give me new words to learn/remember (until i’ve reached a point of perfect listening comprehension which is a WAYS away). There’s no way for me to mess it up. I can give up a book im bored with, i don’t have to stick to one resource to the end. 

someone tell me why professionally made chinese audio books almost NEVER line up to the chapters???? whyyyyy ;-;

Even More Notes lol:

So I read so much in Pleco, which auto pronounces, I have COMPLETELY forgot. 得 地 - for these two, when they’re attached after a description like 淡淡 慢慢 高兴 etc, when are they pronounced di versus de???? i’m pretty sure  得 is pronounced de when its an adjective like ‘-ly’. but for  地, i don’t remember if when part of a describer if its pronounced di or de????

[nya-minister]

[Fic] Second Declension

“Er... I don’t think the Prime Minister’s got as far as the second declension...” - Bernard, in “The National Education Service”

Jim tries to prove he's not a philistine, for the noble purpose of getting in Humphrey's pants. [1704 words]

(With apologies to anyone who actually speaks Latin, because I do not!)

It was late on a Wednesday, and Jim Hacker had just made the dreadful mistake of misusing a Latin idiom. At least, he thought it was an idiom.

Bernard's eyes lit up, as they always did when an opportunity to talk about linguistics presented itself, and indeed, often when it didn't.

"Ah, actually Prime Minister, I believe you meant to say a posteriori evidence, not a priori. You see, a priori evidence relies on axiomatic truths - it is of course a latin phrase, meaning 'from the earlier', while a posteriori, which in Latin means "from the later", describes evidence derived from empirical evidence. Now, in Latin, this..." the young man barely seemed to take a breath, and Jim decided he ought to cut in to stop him from suffocating.

"Alright! Alright. Yes, thank you Bernard, very informative. Now, moving on, the matter of the-" he stopped himself. "Actually, Bernard..."

"Yes, Prime Minister?

"You know, I've been thinking. I really ought to- Well, I would like to- ...could you teach me some Latin?"

"Ah. Why, certainly, Prime Minister!" A slightly cheeky expression crossed Bernard's face. "Never too late to begin one's educat- Er. Sorry... What did you have in mind?"

"Have in mind?"

"Well, er, what did you plan to use it for?"

"Use it for! Right, of course."

A series of concerned expressions played across Jim's face as he considered the question. In truth, he was planning to use it to seduce Bernard's boss, but he couldn't very well say that. Really, this was Humphrey's fault for being so bloody difficult.

For the last few weeks, he and the Cabinet Secretary had been involved in some sort of romantic entanglement. Probably. At least, Jim was fairly confident. They had kissed (briefly) and had sex (somewhat less briefly) and done all manner of things which would imply the presence of a romantic relationship, but apparently not confirm it. Perhaps it was really only sex, just a relief of tension, but that thought didn't sit right with Jim. There was something so delicate and vulnerable about the way Humphrey laid his head on Jim's shoulder, pressing their bodies together in that perfect moment between climax and his almost immediate pivot into a lecture about commercial zoning laws.

Since then, Jim had been trying to charm him into opening up. His usual tactics (dreadful pickup lines and a winning smile) had failed, but perhaps Humphrey needed something a little more intellectual. Thus, Jim had formulated a plan to take him out to dinner and dazzle him with wit... or at least, something smutty that also proved he could, in fact, speak Latin at a third grade level.

"Er... Prime Minister?"

"I'm sorry, what was the question? Ah- right, yes, well. I was just curious. That's all. And the leader of the country ought to know these things."

"Well then, I would be glad to indulge your curiosity! Shall we start with basic grammar?"

"Right, yes, grammar. That shouldn't be so bad."

"Now, as I'm sure you recall, Latin is a highly inflected language. This allows for a more flexible sentence structure, but also requires that words be modified according to various factors, such as their case - that is, their function in a sentence. Now, there are six cases in Latin, which are: the Nominative - the subject, the Genitive - possessive, or to express an object that is "of" something, the Dative - the indirect object, the Accusative - the direct object, the Ablative-"  "Prime Minister? Is everything alright?"

Jim narrowed his eyes.

"Bernard... do you think you could give me a sort of... executive summary of all that, perhaps?"

"Ah, well, I think it all boils down to Latin being a highly inflected language, which allows for a more flexible sentence structure, but also requires that words be modified according to various factors, such as..."

"Yes, I see." Jim said, in his most scholarly tone of voice. "Right."

"Erm, Prime Minister, if I may be so bold as to ask. This wouldn't have anything to do with Sir Humphrey, would it?"

"Humphrey?!" Jim's eyes went wide in panic. Was Bernard wise to his scheme? How could he have figured out- "Oh, because of our little tiff over Latin in schools! No, no, no. Well, Bernard, if you must know, it's my wife's anniversary - er, our anniversary - next weekend, and, well, I thought she might find it charming if I were to... In another language, that is."

"Oh... Oh! In that case, you have nothing to worry about. Your anniversary isn't for another eight months."

"It is? Wait, how do you know that?"

"Well, I marked it in your diary. You do remember a few years back, when we had you double booked - or triple booked, in fact, and, well, I thought it was better we didn't repeat that disaster."

"Yes, yes, alright. I can see what you mean."

"But if you did want to learn how to say something, erm, romantic."

"Yes?"

Jim took out a little notebook and started scratching at it in shorthand.

"And, erm, Bernard, how would you say..." Jim wasn't quite sure he could say it out loud, so he made an obscene gesture with his hands, which on mature reflection was certainly far worse.

"Oh! Oh, my. I think Sir H-Mrs. Hacker"

"Mrs. Hacker." Jim corrected sternly.

"Yes, well, she would be. Um. Well, it's rather a complicated question - you see, in Latin, and indeed Greek, when proposing sexual acts, one's choice of word often depends on the gender of the parties involved and on whether the speaker is in the, erm, active or passive role. Even this component is not entirely cut and dry, as these acts are, on a grammatical level, handled quite differently to their english-language counterparts. Irrumare, which is a passive verb in English - that is to receive fellatio, is in fact an active verb in Latin - something which one actively does. Of course, one would typically use some degree of innuendo while discussing such topics, and Latin has a wide array of interesting options, which, as in most languages, evolved over time such that ordinarily innocent words acquired sexual connotations. As a rather amusing anecdote, officium, which can be loosely translated as "duty" or "service", though it also refers to "office" - that is, a political office - gained the connotation of pathic behavior - which means that the latin term for permanent undersecretary - princeps officii - sounds rather like-"

"Yes, thank you Bernard! That will be all!" Jim said, still reeling from the apparent depth and breadth of Bernard's sexual vocabulary. "Erm... Do you have a dictionary I can borrow? I think I shall figure the rest of it out on my own."

"Oh, of course." he said, pulling out a gigantic tome that looked old enough to have been penned by a native speaker.

Jim sighed, and got to work.

***

It was easy enough to get the Cabinet Secretary to dinner. He loved a good meal at an expensive restaurant, especially when someone else was paying. Plus, they had plenty of work matters to discuss, and that was before they even began to address their impossible-to-define pseudo-romance nonsense. Humphrey's true intentions were hard to read even without bringing something as perplexing as romance into the mixture, so it was little wonder that Jim never knew whether he was coming or going. He rather hoped tonight it would be the former.

This evening, Humphrey was dressed in a very sharp three-piece ensemble with a purple tie and matching pocket square and his hair coiffed just so. He looked terribly handsome, and Jim briefly entertained the thought that perhaps Humphrey had dressed up for his sake. He smiled at the idea, even though it probably wasn't true.

Owing to the possibility of official secrets being discussed, and simply to their stature, they were seated in a closed off area of the restaurant, out of sight and earshot of the other patrons. Discretion was still of the utmost importance, but even if it weren't, Humphrey would still have gone on about the most mundane of topics for the first hour or so. It was always an heroic effort to get him onto casual conversation.

By the time they polished off the main course, Humphrey's posture had relaxed ever so slightly, and Jim - who was by this point a couple of drinkies in - seized his chance.

Humphrey's eyes went wide, and for a moment, he was speechless.

"I... Good Lord... Latin?" he stammered out, a sweet little flush colouring his cheeks. A curl of his hair seemed to jump out of place of its own volition. Mission accomplished!

"Yes it is!" he giggled. "Bet you didn't expect that!"

"No, I certainly did not... And neither would the Romans. his voice dropped almost to a whisper, "Make would go...." his voice dropped almost to a whisper "insert?" Is that supposed to be something vulgar?"

"O... oh, dear. I must have gotten my declensions mixed up. I thought I had it down. Where are my notes?"

"Notes?!"

"Well, you see, it was my first time learning a language, and the... In English, it was supposed to be- ah, I'll tell you later. Here comes dessert."

Humphrey found a sudden fascination with his pastry, while Jim was left to stew in silence.

Finally, Humphrey looked up.

"Right, well. We'll not be having any more of that nonsense, Prime Minister."

"No, no... Of course not. I apologize."

"As you should. A most dreadful butchery of the language. Besides. I think a more appropriate phrase would be..."

Humphrey said something in Latin, and Jim nodded sagely in the hopes that it would look like he understood it.

"And, of course, in English, that would be..."

Humphrey glanced furtively to his left and right, then leaned in, close enough that his lips were almost touching Jim's neck. Then, he whispered something quite unexpected.

"Oh, my, Humphrey!" Jim said, far louder than he intended, then quickly silenced himself. "With... with me?" he mouthed, "Tonight?"

Humphrey seemed to drink in the sight of Jim floundering, a predatory light gleaming in his dark brown eyes. He smiled, in an infuriatingly self-satisfied manner, which was unfortunately also very attractive.

"Ita vero, Prime Minister." 

================================================

================================================

Notes:

Clearly I don’t speak Latin, so any jokes at Jim’s expense are also at my own. That said, I did a lot of googling for this, and so, some fun facts: it turns out there isn’t a word for “yes” (or no) in Latin, though “Ita vero” (closer to “indeed” or “certainly”) is commonly used. Humphrey’s classic “yes and no” answer would probably be translated as “Sic et non” ([it is] thus and [it is] not). At least... I think so. If anyone reads this, please do send me corrections!

Regarding Bernard’s speech about smutty Latin: ever since his fabulous “Oh, could we! [subsidize sex]” line, I’ve headcanoned him as a bit of a quiet achiever in that department. He knows exactly what his bosses are up to, and could probably save them months of romantic angst and mutual pining with a couple of off the cuff remarks. The officium/officii/officiosi thing relies on my incredibly shaky understanding of grammar, and from this passage I found in a book from the 80s about smutty latin slang:

(Pathic/patientia is an old-fashioned way of saying “bottom/bottoming”.)

[dansiere]

FIVE SONGS

list five songs associated with your muse and its meaning to them as a character, or to you as the writer. this can be applied in-character or out-of-character. it can go as deep as looking at the song’s real-world origins or meaning along with the themes it carries to the muses’ story, values, or experiences, or as simple as if your muse would listen to this kind of music, or even if you just listen to these pieces for inspiration.

TAGGED BY: @handspoken, who kinda hates me? Just kidding I love you okay. TAGGING: @rosiqe, @citialiin, @absolutia, @huntershowl, @blossomingbeelzebug, @foxcharmed, @noirtux, @hiskniight, @ndeavor, @kissafist, @ahsterism (muse of your choice!), @carvedbones, @enshijou & @ettards. -- steal it, honestly. It is a great meme.

01. Both Sides Now - Joni Mitchell Moons and Junes and ferries wheels, the dizzy dancing way that you feel as every fairy tale comes real. I've looked at love that way. 

I have probably talked about this song so often already but BOY where do I start? I was watching “Love Actually” & Both Sides Now started playing; it’s the scene where Karen (Emma Thompson) almost breaks down & cries while realizing that her relationship is a farce, that she has been foolish & blind & delusional. It continues with her doing her absolute best to calm herself down, to not collapse but function instead; she pretends she is fine, fearing that she might ruin her family’s Christmas party otherwise. It’s a raw, emotional scene unfolding itself while Joni sings about how she came to realize that everything has two sides; the very thing we dream off, aka we imagine / how we wish things are & the harsh reality. No song could ever express Pearl’s delusion with life & love [but also realizing one’s naivity] better than this one; the aspect of pretending that she is fine in order to not ruin her family’s lives with her agony fits excruciatingly well too. -- in fact, the stanza “I have looked at love from both sides now, from give and take & still somehow it’s love’s illusions that I recall. I really don’t know love at all” has been my blog description for months & I won’t change it any time soon. Additionally, this song is about growth & personal change sung with a certain candidness that words can’t really describe  -- this song single-handedly inspired me to create this blog, ngl.

02. Dernière Danse - Indila Oh my sweet torment, no point in fighting, you start again. I'm just a worthless being, without [her] I'm troubled. I wander around alone on the subway, a last dance: To forget my great misery. I want to get away, everything to start again.

Number two on my list is a bit of an oddity; it is the song that inspired me to change my URL & bottom header quote. I have always related this song to Pearl basically because it SOUNDS cheerful, has a more upbeat melody & seems positive enough on the outside; however, upon looking at the lyrics & understanding what the artist actually sings about you may or may not get chills. It’s literally a song about losing oneself, misery & the horrid feeling of loneliness after loss all wrapped up in some funky & cheery melody. It seems rather SURREAL at first & upon translating the lyrics you might believe Google is messing with you but... no. The cheery intro fools you, just how Pearl fools everyone in believing that she is a-okay. -- the song grows more & more serious / dramatic with the melody / beat becoming “heavier” over time. While still rather peppy, you can tell that something is wrong the second the background choir kicks in. -- needless to say, I consider the lyrics to be a reference to Pearl’s extreme directionlessness, her lack of purpose, severe lethargy & how she lost herself in her misery.

03. Dark Paradise - Lana Del Rey And there's no remedy for memory your face Is like a melody, it won't leave my head. Your soul is hunting me and telling me That everything is fine, but I wish I was dead.

At first, I wanted to use this meme as an excuse to gush on & on about It’s Over, isn't it? but then I remembered that Dark Paradise is a thing. Lana Del Rey simply had to be on here due to her habit of utterly & completely romanticizing tragic romance & death to an almost unhealthy degree. Pearl is guilty of the same issue. -- glorifying things you should absolutely not glorify. Dark Paradise deals with the loss of true love & the trauma that follows; not being able to move on, not being able to let go, blind devotion, stuck in the same grief, the same melancholy, the same subtle craving for death (through drowning). It’s haunting really, but these are topics that not only fit Pearl aesthetically but also motif wise. The largest part of her season 1 - 3 arc dealt with her grief over losing Rose & her inability to overcome her trauma in that regard. Dark Paradise strikes that nerve & expresses that despair rather accurately. 

04. Blinding - Florence and the Machine And I could hear the thunder and see the lightning crack All around the world was waking, I never could go back Cause all the walls of dreaming, they were torn wide open And finally it seemed that the spell was broken.

I wanted to add a song that might describe Pearl’s mentality more; something from Sleeping At Last, Aurora or Sia maybe, but given how I have been gushing about Florence & the Machine lately, I felt like I had to include them because of their extreme Pearl-esque aesthetic alone. Blinding is massive. It shakes you to the core & drags you along, whenever you want it or not. Its heavy percussion & lyrics, the REALIZATION hit you like a truck; I have always associated this song with the moment Pearl realizes who she is. May it be before the war or after "Now We Are Only Falling Apart". It has a revolutionary feeling to it: she wakes up from her Homeworld induced trance & breaks her conditioning, she wakes up from her lethargy & takes a stand for herself. It works either way, really. 

05. The Fantasy - 30 Seconds to Mars Do you live, do you die, do you bleed for the fantasy? In your mind, through your eyes, do you see? It's the fantasy Maybe, tonight we can forget about it all: it could be, just, like heaven. I am a machine: no longer living, just a shell of what I dreamed.

I needed a renegade song; something fast & aggressive; this one had the perfect vibe. The Fantasy it is loud, emotional, gritty & chaotic; it’s fast-paced, it’s desperate. It opposes all Past Pearl is supposed to stand for. It builds up, it swells, grows more & more apoplectic over time. -- “Dying for the fantasy” is another big motif on this blog; in fact, her dream / fantasy controls most of her early life to the point where it becomes an obsession. -- this song embodies the very compulsive drive she had, once. Reaching for a Golden Future that eventually turns out to be “just a shell of what she dreamt”; the fairytale that almost cost her her life in the end.

06. Honourable Mentions songs I need to list somewhere or I will burst.

Running Up that Hill - Kate Bush, Eight & Three - Sleeping At Last, Falling Infinite & Strangelove - Black Math, Everything I wanted - Billie Eilish, Send in the Clowns - Barbra Streisand, Bird Set Free - Sia, God is a Woman (cover) & Infections of a Different Kind - Aurora, Love is a Battlefield - Pat Benata,  Beautiful Lie - 30 Seconds to Mars, Love Lockdown (Cover) & Pork Soda - Glass Animals,  One Match & Romeo - Until the Ribbon Breaks, Over the Love & Hardest of Hearts - Florence & the Machine, Beautiful Crime - Tamer, Truth Is a Beautiful Thing - London Grammar, Diary of Jane - Breaking Benjamin, Do I Wanna Know? - Arctic Monkeys, Far too Young to Die - Panic!At the Disco, Cut the Cord - Shinedown, The War - SYML  & Reborn - Talos.

[yoursinfulurges]

Neo Host Club

Part 1.

Description:

Sm academy is a school for the riches kids in the country. If you have way too much time in your hands, have the school' host club take care of it for you. The host club is compiled of 21 members, im sure one of them will fit your preference. Indulge in fine dining as handsome rich men accompany you, showering you with love and affection. The host club is here to fulfill all of your fantasies of having a handsome rich man as your boyfriend. We encourage you to join us. Neo Host Club is your perfect vacation, we are here to aid you from all your stress.

Lies. All lies. At first everything was perfect, no bumps or kinks in the road. Being with Jaehyun was like a dream come true. But, like all dreams, at some point you have to wake up. Everything could've gone much more smoother if you would've never gotten involved with him in the first place. You went from being a one-time customer, to his personal call girl. You loved him with all your heart, but he loved himself way more. He took it upon himself to choose his pride over you. The host club wasn't as perfect as it seemed. It was not a picture perfect place where nothing could go wrong, It was just a utopian world made up by troubled kids, who hoped to forget their miserable lives outside of school. You know that now... He could've chosen love over tragedy, but his pride prevented him from doing so. He had a reputation as the host clubs most charming member to up hold, and he certain couldn't risk it for some girl he sleeps around with. He chose his pride, not you, thus shattering your relationship... or, whatever it was that you two had....

You were left with a shattered heart, he left you to pick up the pieces all on your own. It was not love, but instead a tragedy.

Warning: multiple smut scenes, bisexuality, grammar errors, implication of Asian reader, degrading terms, and over all a whole shit show

Word Count: about 5.k

___________

You gazed out the window of your limousine and sighed. Your face contorting into an expression that displayed 100% discomfort; you looked as if you were about to throw up any given minute, soiling the red velvet rug and your brand new uniform. The tingling sensation in the pit of your stomach seemed to be like a never ending stream. An endless flow of nervousness and anxious thoughts, feeding your anxiety like a wild fire, stirring up a cyclone of possible panic attacks or mental break downs. It felt as though you were on the verge of crying and shitting your pants.

Today, you'd be starting a new chapter in your life. You were finally attending the infamous SM academy, a school known for its excellent education system and outstanding clubs. You've heard many rumors about SM, but the most repeated are about a particular club called neo host club. It's apparently compiled by 18 charming male students, proudly running the club in it's second year at SM academy. The club was said to be extremely gifted, talents ranging from singing, dancing, rapping, and even magic acts.

You were sure they were nice and all, but you weren't buying it. A group of extremely good looking men with impeccable manners. It was almost too good to be true. What is this?, a sappy fanfiction written by a fourteen year old high school student that has nothing better to do? Yes. From what you've heard, they seemed like robotic brain washed idiots, fooled into acting like manga characters. It was best to not interact with them, given your long track record of obsessing over anime characters. You came to this school to learn, not to get involved with boys. No love affairs or scandalous awkward run in's. You were here to further your work ethics and that's all, there was nothing in your itinerary about getting involved with boys. Besides, something about them seemed fishy...

-

You gazed at your parents one last time before finally stepping out of the car. It was evident from your expression that you did not want to be here. You've protested a million times and made it completely obvious to your parents that you didn't want to attend SM. Originally, you wanted to go to JYP Arts, a school who focuses more on creative liberty rather than academics. It's most commonly known as a school who values creativity more than anything else, earning it a bad reputation from parents such as yours. You wanted to attend JYP rather than SM due to your passion for art, but your parents disapproved and left you with no other option but to attend SM.

They insisted that art wouldn't get you any where, and that it was more of a side hobby rather than a job you can actually make money off of. You were crushed, but weren't surprised. Your parents had always raised you to value money over happiness. Ever since you were little, you were tought that living in luxury and loneliness was better than living poor and surrounded by love. The only time you actually made your parents proud was when you won a hefty prize on some petty competition; not when you won a trophy for your outstanding literature work. Not when you donated half a million dollars to charity, in fact, they seemed bitter about it, rather than proud.

To them, your trophy room filled with over 200 golden medals and trophies was nothing compared to the dollar signs you'd rake in. As a child, you've always joked that your parents were like the cookie monster, but with money. Having always seen them in the study, counting huge wads of 100 dollar bills, usually accompanied by other stacks of fresh paper; Naturally, you saw them as a psychopath with an unhealthy obsession over money, greedy and hungry (but without the blue fur and garbage can of course.) None the less, they still treated you with love,... In their eyes.... You were sure that in their own twisted way, they loved you with all their hearts. They just didn't show it much, or at all....

Life with them as parents was....rough... You would've been fine if you had other siblings to socialize with, but your parents thought of children as a menus and that you were far than enough for them. You figured out pretty quickly that you were only born because they needed a heir to the family business. You weren't aloud to talk nor even look at the children that would play outside the gates of your mansion. They iced you out from everything outside the walls of your house. Forcing you to make friends with the statues and paintings that littered your home. It was indeed sad, sad enough for the staff to take pity on you and go well out of their way to interact with you.

Thankfully, making some great friends in the confinement of your own home. Over time, you weren't so lonely anymore. There was Mrs. Kim, your librarian and teacher who home schooled you up until this point. Mr. Kim, the gardener. Mr. Lee, the chef and baker. Emily, one of the maids around the same age as you. Sehun, the son of your head maid. And lastly, Mrs. Oh, your head maid and Sehun's mother. They weren't exactly the normal group of friends people your age would have but they were great. So much fond memories were made with them, they raised you more than your parents ever did.

-

Morning classes flew by quicker than you expected, and before you knew it it was time for lunch. Your morning mainly consisted of you arriving to classes late due to your unreliable locker not wanting to cooperate, and boring lectures given in both 2 classes. You still couldn't shake off Ms. Lee's lecture about sexual intercourse, she had practically begged and yelled at your table to not have sex. Yes, specifically your table, earning lots of snickers from the other students and shy glance from you while your seat partner tried not to piss her pants. You did not expect a 40 year old lady in a purple get up to yell at you about sex on your first day of school. You expected your day to go much more normally than this, hopefully your evening will go on much more smoother. But some good did come out from Ms. Lee's excessive screaming.

While your loony teacher was yelling at another group about something you couldn't quite understand, you had managed to make a friend somehow. Her name was yeri, at first you'd expected her to one of the more quiet students, but boy were you wrong. The moment Ms. Lee stomped over to your table yeri's lips were practically bleeding, due to her bitting down on it way too hard to prevent herself from laughing. You liked her a lot, having shared some common interests and surprisingly similar personalities.

She even invited you to sit with her and her friends at lunch. You agreed of course, not wanting to look like a fool by sitting all by yourself. You would be vulnerable to judgmental stares and occasional murmurs. After class you stuck by yeri like gum to a shoe. She had informed you that it was usually her job to witch hunt her friends down. Understandable, given that the school was at least the size of fifteen malls. One could easily get lost. This 'witch hunt' however, wasn't as complex as you'd expect it to be. You had managed to find all four of them in under five minutes. Though it was painstaking,  mentally wise. Yeri said 'seek for those that look ill minded'. It had taken you a while to figure out what the hell that meant, as you did not speak her witch lingo. But after a few seconds you had managed to translate it as 'look for the idiots'. You left it to her to find them though, as you weren't the judgmental type. And sure enough she did.

They were all huddled around a girl; and from what you can see, she seemed to be distressed in a way. Vulgar profanities spill from her lips as she aggressively throws books into her locker. They were all pretty, but looked very intimidating. From what information you can gather with your eyes, they definitely weren't the most well-behaved students here. One opted for a leather jacket instead of the required school blazer. Some wore fish nets instead of stockings. Two wore plaid skirts. And almost all had hoop earrings on, which you know for a fact is not allowed. They all sported bright, eye catching makeup; with hair ranging from violet high lights to straight up platinum blonde. The contrast between yeri and them was unimaginable, but fitting. The only remotely juvenile thing about her is her ash grey high lights. Other than that, she seemed like your typical well-mannered girl.

"Oof, whose the babe." A very pretty girl with red lipstick and perfectly lined brows said whilst pointing at you with her lollipop. You looked her up and down and immediately got chills. She wore black latex thigh high heels; a plaid miniskirt with a leather belt, accompanied with chains; and an off white blouse, nearing grey in the color spectrum; with a sleek black leather jacket, that tied the look all together.

"This is y/n. She's new. Y/n, seulgi." Said yeri. Her hand landing at the dip of your back, pushing you forward gently but with the foundation of force. The grip  you had on your books tightens, pulling your notebook closer to your chest. You weren't necessarily scared, just weary.

"Ou, fresh meat." This,... Seulgi uttered.

"Careful she bites. Hi, I'm wendy." Stated the girl that was distraught earlier, as she moved her locker door a bit to take a peek at seulgi. Observing her, you smiled back.

She wore her hair in space buns with red and purple highlights; complementing their whole 'grunge chic' look. Her outfit was all mixed and match, from a yellow plaid mini skirt and red tank top, to a lilac and pink wind breaker. Chaotic, but stylish. Her gaze shifted from seulg to you, with a pleasant smile on her lips. To which you return, as you didn't wanna be caught observing her... She then aggressively shuts her locker door before turning your way.

"Cafeteria?" She questioned and you all nodded. You weren't one to oppose a grumbling stomach after all, so you complied.

-

Once seated in the cafeteria, you took a minute to take it all in. The place looked like the queen's ball room with the fancy domed roof and pillars, not to mention the giant chandelier that hung in the middle of the room. It was quite spacious, fit for the only finest. You couldn't expect any less from Korea's top school.

"Look whose here." The girl whom you've come to know as irene spoke, nudging her head towards the brown double door entrance. Your gaze following, and landing at a group of boys. All handsome and well dressed... I guess you were staring at them way too intensely, since one of the girls spoke up.

"Careful, you don't wanna get close to them." Wendy whispers in your ear.

"Why not?" You ask, turning her way.

Seulgi scoffs. "They're a bunch of a-holes but everyone here's too dumb and blinded by their looks to figure it out." She states while probing her miniscule fork in the air in their general direction.

"Seems like you have something against them." A sly tone laced your tongue as you spoke. You didn't know where this new found comfort came from since you were antisocial as fuck. But it was quite easy to adjust to them. They weren't as bad as you thought. They were actually very nice and well-mannered. They just have trouble obeying rules... You felt comfortable with them, almost like you've known them your entire life.

"Ya!? Well, I do!"

"Last summer seulgi got into some beef with taeyong, the guy with red hair and the leader of 'nct' as they call themselves. Anyways, They dated but seulgi came out as les and he got really salty about it and released nude pictures of her and her titties." Joy laughed while seulgi scoffed once more.

"They were nice though..." Wendy informed with a mischievous laugh.

"I know! If anything it just made the girls fond over me more. I mean get a load of these double D's." You spat out your tea as she pushed her breast together and leaned forward to attack you with them. Everyone bursts into a giggling fit as you coughed vigorously.

"But still, it pissed me off!" With her eyebrows furrowed she threw the tiny fork in her hand at her empty tray. The laughter didn't seem to die down and you thanked joy for the napkin she handed you to recollect yourself. You thought to yourself, maybe this wasn't so bad.

Not much had happened since lunch. Third period wasn't that bad since irene and joy accompanied you in math. Not to mention that it was practically a free period due to a technical difficulties. Last period was with seulgi and wendy. The three of you spent majority of language arts goofing off as the teacher read segments from Romeo and Juliet. Wendy made exaggerated expressions as the infamous "Romeo, Romeo, wherefore arth thou Romeo" line was read off... resulting in her being sent to the principal's Office...

-

And now you were back at your miserable humble abode, wilting away like a plant without water. It was only then when your macbook started vibrating with notifications, that you decided to take a break from painting.

Instagram: Yeri_is.petrified started following you...

Instagram: TheWendyBird started following you...

Instagram: Joy¡!_xoxo started following you...

Instagram: Irene♡_ started following you...

Instagram: Seulgi_ started following you...

Incoming call from: Yeri_is.petrified +4 others.

[Decline]  [Accept]

You furrowed your brows in confusion, how did the manage to find your account so easily. You sighed unknowingly as you clicked the accept button.

AznBabe_ has accepted call...

"Hey bitch." Yelled seulgi. You looked at her side of the screen. Instantly you noticed her odd preference in decorations as her room looked like a night club. There were mixtures of reds, purples, and blue illuminating lights. You presumed that were caused by various neon signs of some form. Her roomed looked like a strippers den. Especially with the red and black silk sheets she had.

"Asian babe, really?" Asked Irene. Her room was definitely more mellow. It fits her whole "your mom wished she gave birth to me" vibe. Very prim and proper, her color palette from what you can see is mainly black and white, with a plant here and there.

"Ya, lol..." you deadpanned. "How did you guys even find my IG?"

"It took a lot of searchin. By the way, love the whole edgy-urban- im-a-badass-dont-mess-with-me thing you have going on in your feed." You laughed as wendy emphasized her words, using hand gestures to prove her point.

"Ya, totally different from the whole good girl thing you have going on. It's hot. I like it." Added joy. Understandable since to took pride in reinventing yourself just for the internet. In the eyes of your followers you were a rebellious lil demon' that smoked and road motorcycles. But in actuality you were a goody-two-shoes that just so happens to vape and have access to thousands and thousands of urban clothing. You did ride a bike though but you preferred the rose gold custom Lamborghini you got for your birthday last year.

Truth be told, it was just an act. You weren't entirely sure what prompted you to create this edgy persona of yourself. I guess it was just to distract yourself from the oh' so pitiful life you lived now. A double life if you will...

"You should dress like this tomorrow. You'll fit right in." Said yeri as she held up her left hand in the form of a 6 sign.

"Why'd you losers called anyways?" It's funny how comfortable you've gotten with these girls that you've barely known twelve hours ago. You felt like you've been apart of their friend group since the beginning even though you've just met them today.

They all shrugged before going back to the task at hand. Irene was probably finishing up next weeks homework. While Yeri and Joy were mindlessly scrolling through their feed. Wendy has her camera off but by the sound of things she was probably cooking. Seulgi, well she was just laying in bed smoking. As for you, you were just tidying your work station.

"Are you guys planning to go to yukhei' party tomorrow? I heard he's going to have a cheese fountain." Wendy announced as she turned her camera on, giving you full view of the mess she made. Stains ranging from red to greenish yellow adorned her white shirt. And the gold spatula she was holding had burnt pieces on it.

"The boy loves his cheese." Laughed seulgi as she talks another drag from her blunt.

"Wait a minute, isn't he that guy from the club you said to stay away from?" You questioned, looking up from what you were doing to give them a look of confusion.

"He throws really good parties." Irene shrugged, not bothering to look up from her notebook.

Wong Lucas was Indeed a questionable man, but there was no doubt that he threw the craziest parties. He was pretty much what you'd expect a nineteen year old rich kid to be, wild and rebellious. It was a known fact that he got his spot at Neo through one of his parties. He was the one that arranged most of the clubs events because he was really good at it. For the most part he has a pretty squeaky clean record. Aside from little rumors here and there.

-

And that's how you found yourself dressing up hot and steamy for a party you didn't even know the location to. You decide to go casual yet still sexy. It didn't take you long to decide on a red latex, skin tight skirt with a Gucci belt, paired with a black lace bracelet styled top, and black velvet thigh highs. As for your hair and makeup you kept it simple, opting to just curl your hair with a subtle black winged liner and a bright red lip, also accompanied by perfectly lined brows and extra gleaming highlight.

Seulgi was already at your house since she insisted on getting dressed there. The party didn't start till nine and it was only seven twenty so you had plenty of time to lounge around. Seulgi went with a dark purple velvet off shoulder flaired dress, with black thigh high heels that laced up at the front. Her hair was styled in a bun with her bangs hanging loose. And her makeup was very minimalistic, similar to yours except she had a nude lipstick on.

"Smile for a picture slut!" She yelled, positioning the camera in front of you both. You did your go-two insta hoe pose; shoulders back, one eyebrow slightly raised, gaze soft yet sassy; lips pressed together but lightly tugged into a small smirk. You figured out that the pose made you look irritated and confused yet still hot. The next picture was just of you and seulgi giving the camera the middle finger with your eyes closed and tongue stuck out.

"You look hot in all of these." Seulgi complimented as she scrolled through the pictures. Deciding the top five that worked well in her favors before posting it on her IG. Not so long later the doorbell rang, indicating that someone was present at the door.

Seulgi_ tagged you in a photo

[Image]

10,000 likes

Born in the pussy, i'll die in a cunt.

579 comments

_JaeD_ +58 others has started following you...

The party hadn't even begun and already the place was packed. Cars ranging from Lambo's, Royce', and Mercedes littered the place. Luckily Irene found a place to park her convertible. You knew that this place was heavily guarded since it was known to be one of the more classier part of Seoul. So when wendy suggested to park in the streets, none of you seemed to worry about any possible theft.

The house was huge, certainly not as large as your house but definitely enough to fit a hundreds of people. From your knowledge of revenue, or just money in general, the house looked to be worth a good nine million, ten at most. It was a modern home so you knew that it had to be well over a million. Since most houses that have that specific structure were more on the heftier side of things. And there were stone statues everywhere. Those aren't cheap to come by.

You all walked up to the security man with a guest list and patiently waited for the group of girls to finish. You knew judging by their clothes that they weren't from the privileged life. The knockoff Gucci was a huge give away. Normally you wouldn't have a problem about these kinds of things, but knowing how upper class parties work, the odds are they were going to get thrown out.

You watch as the girl whined and screamed to be let in, claiming that she'd tell her father about him. You almost took pity on them, enough to say they were with you. You would've if it weren't for half of them giving you the stank eye.

"Step aside. Name?" The man asked you.

"Lee Y/n, of the Lee dynasties." You said confidently, staring back at the girl who had been glaring at you the second you walked up here.

"And you know who we are." Joy piped.

"Hi wonho!" Greeted wendy.

"Right this way girls." The guard known as wonho smiled before opening the door for the six of you.

"We're with them." One girl said.

"No you're not." You laughed at Irene's words, strutting into the home. It reeked of alcohol and drugs. The air was littered with smoke from the smoke machine, and atmosphere gave off a more chill-club kind of vibe from the red and blue lights the laminated that places. The place was jammed pack with people, some you recognize from school.

"Let's go get a drink." Seulgi whispered in your ear. You nod whilst looking around. She mumbled a inaudible 'this way' before pushing your forearm to the direction of the kitchen.

Your jaw drops. There really was a cheese fountain...

The kitchen wasn't as compacted as before, leaving room for you to actually wonder. There were only a few groups of people and from what you can see out the sliding doors, they were all outside by or in the pool.

"Look theres pizza."

"Theres a cheese fountain. A fucking cheese fountain! I thought it was a joke-"

"Ohhh nooo, Yukhei never jokes about cheese..."

-

You watch in amusement as yeri chugs down her twelfth glass of martini blue. (S/o if you get it). At this point in, you've lost count of how many shots you've had and the many types of alcohol you drank. Everything became a drunken blur, gaze hazy, mind fuzzy. The blaring music was coming through filtered, like you were under water. Everything felt like a mirage. Every action your body did, your brain did not comprehend. Thus resulting you on time out, under the watchful gaze of wendy and Irene.

A huff leaves your lips as you slumped and grabbed another slice of pizza off the counter you sat atope of.

"Why can't I just have another one..." a pout forms on your face as you groan in frustration.

"Because y/n you've already had 24 shots of that neon green stuff." Says wendy.

"Hey Yuk, what is that stuff?" Irene grabs a hold of the muscular male that happened to pass by, pointing at the  suspicious looking bowl of glowing green liquid.

"Oh, that?.. ask Sicheng and Nakamoto, they made it. But I think its mountain dew and monster with vodka and sprite, something like that." Lucas says before placing down three boxes of pizza and tacos and leaving. Leaving the two to groan in agony, somebody had to take care of you.

"I'm going to the washroom..." you say, hopping off the granite counter and wobbling off to a random hallway.

"Okay..." mumbled Irene as she takes a sip from her plastic red cup.

Uncertain where your legs were taking you to, you watch as seulgi pushes a girl into an unoccupied room. You were unsure of her name but you've seen her in your fine arts class. She hangs out a lot with those JYP kids.

"Have fun Seul!" You laughed, banging your forearm into the wooden door before drunkenly walking off.

Somehow you had managed to find the washroom. You swiftly made your way in and locked the door behind you. Clearly missing the figure that smoked in the shower. You blink meekly at the sink, forgetting why you went to the washroom in the first place.

You sigh, propping yourself up on the counter. Your body swayong lightly to the current migos song blasting through the speakers outside. You yawn lightly, thanking god that the red and black aesthetic happening outside correspondent in the bathroom as well. The red led light that illuminated the room was certainly much more calmer than the yellowish lights in the kitchen. It made things a lot easier to actually see.

The male watches you with amusement in his eyes. Taking another drag from his blunt, he shifts his weight onto the shower wall.

"What's a pretty girl like you doing here?" He asked, nodding is head upward before tilting it to the side and taking another drag of his cigar. His hazel brown eyes staring down at you as he lifts an eyebrow, waiting for a respond.

You hum lightly, swinging your legs absentmindedly. "Just chillin!" He laughs slightly at your answer before making his way to you and leaning against the bathroom counter.

"Then lets chill together. My names Yuta. You?" Evident in his voice that he wanted more than to just relax, but it only goes by unnoticed to you as you happily told him your name.

5 minutes later...

"Oh fuck!! Just l-like that! Shit!!!" You scream loudly as you grip onto Yuta' hair. A smirk forming on his lips as he looks up at you with sly eyes. A milky way of lust and hunger filled his hazel ord. (Pun not intended) Moans fall out of your mouth as Yuta sucked on your clit. Your vision fogs as your intoxicated mind tries to comprehend every wave of pleasure coming your way.

"I-im coming! Fuck!!!" Screaming at the top of your lungs, your breath increases as you struggle to unleash the tightness in your stomach. Your pitch rises ten octaves as you release onto Yuta' mouth. Your mind in a blissful ecstasy as you ride out your high.

"Well, that was fun." He says in a sly tone, lifting his head and licking his lips.

"Visit me if you ever want more..." A chuckle erupts from his mouth as he handed you a pink card with golden accents on all four corners. You watch as he leaves before reading the cursive golden letters on the card.

|                      Neo Host Club                        |

                           Empathy,

           We turn dreams into reality.

|                Room: 127  7am-6pm                 |

You raise your brow in confusion as you examine the card front to back. We turn dreams into reality? What the hell did that mean? An escorting buisiness perhaps.. though you highly doubt the school would allow such a thing. Regardless of the clubs purpose, it was still worth checking out. As the name and slogan intrigued you very much.

And thus, you began your journey down the rabbit hole of poorly chosen decisions and midnight drunk hook ups. But sooner or later the spiral will begin to unwind and all will be revealed. After all, they didn't call him the king of hearts for nothing...

How was that huh? Probably not what you expected but oh well :/ don't expect for part two to be out any time soon!!! Currently working through writers block :(

[digoxinpurpurea2-blog]

One of my grandfathers died of AIDS complications before I was born.

There, that's my pound of flesh. You have to present those before anyone listens to you on this fucking website.

I didn't delete my tumblr because oh no I'm the Hamilton cannibal mermaid freak. I have been that for years. And, for what it's worth, I never interacted with Israa as Israa. She tried to interact with me, once, two years ago, about the intentionally dumb garbage I wrote in my spare time. I ignored her because I didn't know who she was and I didn't care.

Nah, I deleted my tumblr because you freaks kept sending me death threats and I couldn't exactly deal with that after being awake for four days and trying to manage the emotional fallout of this monster.

Don't send people death threats, you fucking loons.

This was not about fandom, because I do not orient my world around fandom. This was about my grandfather, and not just him, and not just the other people I have known who have had their lives irrevocably altered by HIV, and not just the fact that she stole money. This was about basic common decency. It's not about me. I'm not going to pretend I'm an angel or anything but I have never done anything like this.

But this is not about me.

The person behind hivliving, Alix McLiar:

1. Lives in a $500,000 waterfront house in a wealthy suburb in the US with her married and very wealthy parents, both of whom have terminal degrees in the sciences

2. Goes to a prestigious private out-of-state university on a merit scholarship worth approximately $250,000 over four years. Or maybe not. Maybe she got kicked out. Still not sure. Her school has been contacted multiple times by multiple people, and the chief of police of her university told me that she would be punished appropriately. I believe, at least, that she's no longer involved in the school's anti-racism groups as an administrator, and I know that her advisor knows, and that the head of the diversity office knows, and that her friends all know and have completely stopped talking to her. Rephrase: she went to a prestigious university while this was going on, majoring in a healthcare-related field.

3. Went to one of the best high schools in the United States

4. Started racefaking on the internet early in her senior year of high school, possibly earlier - she was 17 at the time and is 19 now

5. Vacations internationally with some frequency

6. Is white and cisgender and REALLY FUCKING RICH, meaning she definitely used the money she got as “Israa” for drugs or something

7. Is probably going to do this again

She used the following identities:

1. Israa, Liar Prime - bigender bisexual Chinese-Pakistani 19-year-old, from the China-Pakistan border (once or twice specified as westernmost Xinjiang), HIV+ after being trafficked into sexual slavery by her parents as a young teenager, Muslimah, hijabi, once had her eye popped out of its socket after someone found out her HIV status, once raped and robbed by police at gunpoint, pregnant, miscarried, married, living in India with her wife - blueskysapphic/hivliving/angischuyler

2. Muk(h)ta (she spelled it different ways) - Somali, Catholic, raised in America by her American father who was implied a few times to be a diplomat of some sort, 18, trans woman, lesbian, married to Israa, trafficking victim, not HIV+ - thewarsnotdone

3. Naj, American lesbian POC (never specified other than that), congenitally HIV+, fairly active in ace discourse -allolesbean/hivliving

A bonus identity discovered while investigating:

4. Alix, Lebanese Jewish lesbian, self-identified as an Arab, from Lebanon, living in the states for college - lesbianeclipse

(the Jewish community in Lebanon numbers about forty, by the by. She's fond of doing this)

Israa lied a fuckton but she didn’t just pop out of the blue. She had put together the biracial trafficking victim persona before she started posting her fic. She had convinced other people of this persona before she started writing fanfiction - named the wife, picked out Chinese and “Muslim” names (yes she called Israa her Muslim name), found a beta for her fic, made up a backstory. 

And it wasn’t just hivliving that she was involved in. Israa and friends' modus operandi in fandom was to declare someone a pedophile over fanfiction, sic followers on them, threaten to dox them, force them to divulge (often sexual) traumas, and then use those traumas to harass them into self-harm. She did this multiple times, mainly to young gay teenagers and young trans men and young impoverished women. Some of those people did self-harm. And she knew it. And she kept on bullying, and told anyone who said “Stop it” that how DARE they, she is HIV+, she can do this.

And, given that Israa and her crew placed so much emphasis on IP address hits to Tumblrs as "stalking," it is absolutely impossible that none of them - including the one who followed her on her "Lebanese Jewish" tumblr and Facebook-linked twitter - did not know. This was a squad of teenagers dedicated to threatening and sexually harassing rape victims over fanfiction, with their core defense being 'Israa has been much more traumatized than you, by people like you, and she's protecting other people by hurting you.'

Yeah, no. Weirdly enough, most trauma victims don’t go out of their way to tell victims of child sexual abuse that they should kill themselves.

Israa used the social capital and following she gained being a moral arbiter and Teller Of Wise Truths About HIV in fandom (she and her crew also picked on an HIV+ member of the Hamilton cast on Twitter such that I believe he blocked them, by the fucking way) to start hivliving. 

The person behind Israa is not Muslim. Or Jewish. Or HIV+. Or Somali. Or biracial. She was not trafficked to another country by her parents. She grew up wealthy. It was incredibly obvious she was not who she claimed she was. A basic knowledge of geopolitics would have nipped this shit in the bud literally years ago, because nothing Israa said made any sense. This should have been caught day of. Other people knew and let it ride because it’s fun to cloak your repulsive behavior in the language of social justice to get away with it. Other people should have figured it out.

Point by point:

1. Language

Israa claimed to speak Chinese and Urdu natively and English, Spanish, and Kannada as second languages. She exclusively used English on her blog. She learned English as an adult and yet had absolutely perfect grammar, spelling, mastery of American slang, etc. Is this impossible? No, of course not, but learning a second language as an adult - especially in a non-immersion environment, especially one from an entirely different language family, presents a ton of difficulties. I am currently learning a second language in a non-immersion environment. Writing and reading are easier than speaking, sure, but they do not come easy.

Israa wrote like a native English speaker. She never made the mistakes in grammar or spelling common with people learning English from Chinese. She never had slightly odd turns of phrase borne from not grasping all the tiny nuances of a given English word. She never had an accidental character inserted when she forgot to rotate the language on her keyboard. (I rotate keyboards. Lemme tell you, it happens frequently.) She used British spellings pretty consistently, but not British or Indian English phrasing. Her slang was all American, young, Tumblr-approved. The media she talked about was almost all in English, minus one Chinese-American film and one Chinese novel available in English translation. She never used Chinese or Urdu on her blog, except to write brief greetings or her name. She never talked to anyone in Chinese or Urdu or Kannada. Her punctuation was completely American. She never, ever forgot a word.

This person, from a family poor enough to knowingly traffick a child into sex slavery, was fluent in 4-5 languages, presumably literate in at least 3 (meaning she could effortlessly cycle between 3, possibly 4 different writing systems) and somehow so fluent in a language she had started learning only two, three years before that she was indistinguishable from a native speaker.

How?

How was her English so native-perfect after only two or three years?

Because she didn't only have two or three years to build on. Because she was a native speaker. Duh.

2. Offensive racial stereotypes

Israa consistently presented herself as from western China, right along the China-Pakistan border. Never specified city or town, presumably because Alix was not invested enough in the character to pick a random town name off of Google Maps. She also once posted about her family having a dispute about the family rice farm.

There is almost no rice agriculture in extreme western Xinjiang. Not none, but almost none. Too arid.

But rice, China, right?

Also, bit of a digression as the character could have started wearing it while not living there, but about wearing hijab in Xinjiang: it's not exactly legal, right now. Crackdowns on specifically Uyghur Muslims in Xinjiang have been front-page news in major English-language publications for years. Crackdowns on Hui Muslims (the ethnic group she occasionally claimed to be a part of) are less common, but they happen. And, of course, not all Muslim women wear hijab...but all Muslims are the same, in Israa-world. Speaking of.

Israa claimed that she had relatives in Gaza and that she did medical research at a clinic in Gaza under the auspices of her university.

1. How did she get a passport? It would have to be either a Pakistani or Chinese passport. Traveling from India to the Gaza strip on a Pakistani passport would be, shall we say, extremely difficult. It would be difficult for her to acquire a passport in the first place (did she have any documentation before she was trafficked? After? She was trafficked into India and India repatriates trafficking victims. Presumably she would have been repatriated to China. Would she, an HIV-positive member of a Muslim ethnic minority breaking the law in Xinjiang, be allowed to acquire a passport? How would she afford a passport? etc) 2. How would a 19-year-old non-medical student undergraduate receive permission to enter the Gaza strip, especially if she was traveling on a Pakistani passport? 3. Current Israeli law gives the Minister of the Interior the right to deny access to Israel (and thus Palestine and Gaza) to any HIV+ alien or migrant worker. Presumably Israa counted as an “alien or migrant worker,” so how did she get into the country to travel to Gaza in the first place? 4. Did Israa not realize that Pakistan and Palestine (and China) are culturally very dissimilar because they're in very different parts of the world? This is another China = rice moment. Alix assumed that all Muslims are the same? How would the aforementioned impoverished ethnic minority family be wealthy or mobile enough to have relatives at the other end of the continent?

I'm pretty sure her logic there was "Chinese Muslims are oppressed, Palestinians are oppressed - basically the same, right? Family!"

Oh and by the way she seemed to not remember if her family was based in western Xinjiang or in Karachi. She had sisters living in Karachi at some point and then she told me and, apparently, told quite a few other people, that she would be moving back to her loving parents in China soon after graduating university, at the age of 19.

Her parents who trafficked her.

Hokay.

Oh and besides the 80s high school AIDS crisis AU fic she wrote a lot of seriously offensive “Muslim AU” fic that trafficked in a lot of incredibly harmful and racist tropes about Muslim women but I said I wouldn’t mention fandom

3. Her wife

Mukta/Mukhta - Somali, Catholic, raised in America by her American father, somehow ended up in India as a trafficking victim, monolingual in English. She implied a few times that her father was some kind of diplomat. Muk(h)ta married Israa and they lived happily together as an interfaith couple, doing such coupley things as packaging Christmas care packages at Muk(h)ta's church and having wanted pregnancies.

1. As far as I can tell, Mukta and Mukhta are not Somali names, and if Muk(h)ta was monolingual in English wouldn’t she, like, spell her name in the Latin alphabet consistently 2. There are approximately 100 Somali Catholics. (Like I said, she liked doing that.) 3. An American-raised child of a diplomat being kidnapped (?) and trafficked for sex in India would have made international news. I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH. IT WOULD HAVE BEEN INTERNATIONAL NEWS.  4. Legal gay marriage does not exist in India. I wouldn't bring this up, people can call their partners whatever they want in the absence of legal recognition, but Israa made a distinction between "wife" and "girlfriend" and talked about having a wedding in a religious space, so - 5. How were two married female teenagers living together with apparently no problem in Bengaluru? 6. Muk(h)ta and Israa ended up in the same brothel together after being trafficked and one day decided to take the bus out. TO WHERE. HOW DID THEY GET THE MONEY. How Israa talked about the brothel was completely bullshit too and seems to have been based on legal brothels in Australia or Nevada - personal amenities, private bathrooms, private rooms, et cetera. 7. Again, India repatriates, or attempts to repatriate, known minor victims of trafficking - so why were either of them still in India?

Oh also Muk(h)ta's blog literally only talked about how awesome her wife was and Hamilton and she almost never interacted with other people by herself and she would have had the same non-Bengaluru IP address as Israa (same blog organization, frankly, as allolesbean), so -

4. Being a student in India

Israa insisted she, a Chinese (and?) Pakistani national, was a science student at a university in Bengaluru. She would not have been able to do this without documentation and you have to apply for a student visa in India outside of the country.

So:

1. Again. How did she acquire a passport? 2. How did she prove her residential address outside of India? 3. How did she put together the money to pay student fees? 4. How was Muk(h)ta living with her in the interim, if Muk(h)ta wasn't an Indian citizen? 5. How did she overcome the language barrier in either English or Kannada in enough time to start studying science? 6. Where was Muk(h)ta during the application process? In China? In Pakistan? In India? How?

6. The pregnancy

Jesus Christ where do I start

Israa always, always insisted that Muk(h)ta presented as a woman, was understood as a woman, etc, and the pregnancy was expected and wanted - the old ladies at church (who 100% accepted her) cooed over her baby bump.

Two AFAB people and their magic desired child baby bump. 

NO 19-YEAR-OLD HIV+ PERSON IS GOING TO RECEIVE IVF. ANYWHERE. EVER.

When someone pushed back on this, she started insisting that Muk(h)ta was a trans woman, taking hormones, and then later she conveniently miscarried.

1. How did Muk(h)ta access hormones? 2. How did Israa access her HIV medications such that she was fine with having unprotected sex (she stated a couple of times that she and Mukhta were a serodiscordant couple), and/or how did Mukhta access PrEp? 3. Why would two impoverished teenagers living on student visas (and it had to be student visas as, again, India repatriates foreign trafficking victims) plan to have a baby? 4. How did Muk(h)ta, a devout church-going Catholic living in India, safely and successfully navigate as a lesbian trans woman married to a Muslim woman such that her church accepted her and the pregnant partner unconditionally? 5. Same question but about Israa and Israa's mosque, which she apparently attended regularly 6. If the child was planned, how did Muk(h)ta, a young (17? 18?-year-old) trans woman on hormones, access the healthcare that would have assured them both that her hormones weren't interfering with her fertility? 7. How did Israa access neonatal care? 8. How could they afford all of this and yet Israa needed to ask for donations on hivliving to deal with vague miscarriage-related medical bills?

And on. And on. And on.

Am I saying it's impossible for someone to learn a language quickly, or to be Pakistani and have relatives in Gaza, or be a victim of trafficking, or be a lesbian in India, or any of the other things she claimed separately? No, of course not. I'm sure there's actually someone who is very like Israa out there, minus all the lies.

I'm just saying - are you fucking kidding me? Are all of you so illiterate about how the entirety of the world works that this bullshit was allowed to pass unchecked for two fucking years??? Are all of you so illiterate about how the world works that no one wondered why a person with this background would be spending her internet time primarily writing god damn Hamilton fanfiction??? Yes, you are, because instead of putting together this incredibly obvious idiotic racist garbage in a post to point out the many insane consistencies, I had to wade through the goddamn cash.me terms of service LITERALLY MONTHS AFTER SHE STARTED DEFRAUDING PEOPLE.

And that was obviously not the only time she'd demanded money, she just deleted her tumblrs before I could find the "friend's paypal" she had used earlier on blueskysapphic/angischuyler.

Did she ever talk about living with HIV in any meaningful way? Did she ever talk about it in a way that wasn't just yelling about not blaming asexuals or complaining about people twenty years older than her not using Tumblr-approved phrasing or whatever? Did she actually do anything with hivliving besides reblog things other people had posted and tell people to pm her for more information? The real Alix is a 19-year-old college sophomore who is so stupid about public health that she told people RENT is a good introduction to the AIDS crisis in twenty god damn seven teen and told me that she checked herself into a hospital for narcissism (spoilers: there's a huge lack of beds in psychiatric hospitals and no psychiatric ER is going to admit a person not immediately in danger, especially not for NARCISSISM). She had absolutely nothing of value to contribute. She was clearly not talking from a place of expertise. She did not sound like she knew anything about anything and what she did regurgitate was highly Americanized. If her value as the person who ran hivliving was as an HIV+ pregnant married nonbinary non-American trafficking survivor, then it should have been obvious earlier that she was none of those things.

It is not difficult to figure out things like it is costly and difficult to move between countries, or that midcontinental aridity precludes heavy-water-using agriculture, or that adults who are learning English as a third or fourth language from a non-Germanic language will have quite a bit of trouble with grammar and vocabulary even several years in, or that a nineteen-year-old bigender woman-aligned person would have difficulty living safely with her wife anywhere, or that it’s nigh impossible that a person holding a Pakistani passport could get to the Gaza strip, or that most Somalis are not Catholic.

BASIC KNOWLEDGE. BASIC COMMON SENSE. BASIC GEOPOLITICS. A few hours on Wikipedia could have thrown all of this into the garbage. 

Why did any of you believe this garbage?

Easy! Because:

1. Tumblr fetishizes oppression, especially that of trans people and Muslim women, and Alix made herself a persona that hit every jackpot possible 2. Tumblr consumes only fanfiction and thus elevates it to an insane level of importance in culture, therefore fights over fanfiction content are actual justice (it's not that fucking deep) 3. Tumblr has an extremely warped understanding of social justice theory and abuse dynamics 4. Tumblr refuses to absorb any news or history besides that which is presented on Tumblr 5. Alix was so prone to leading harassment mobs that any pushback would lead to more abuse 6. Tumblr hates gay men and would rather listen to an obvious bullshit artist than anyone the community that is primarily affected by HIV

Really can't stress that last one enough. REALLY can't. I remember some big name ~tumblr LGBT-community famous~ blogger telling their thousands of followers that the pogrom against gay men in Chechnya wasn't happening, partially because they were so stupid that they didn't know how to click through on tabloid publications to the serious reporting done by actual journalists, but mostly because Tumblr has decided that gay men aren't oppressed and AIDS is over or some bullshit.

At least five people, five men, five GAY AND BI MEN, came to Alix with their status, begging for help. She fed them garbage and lies. She looked them in the face and decided she would continue with this monstrousness and you just fucking let it happen and then you made it about fanfiction because you don’t understand that there are things way beyond fandom. She was a psychopath who OPERATED IN FANDOM and 15 years ago she would have pulled this shit on the TWOP boards or the scarleteen message boards or neopets or something.

God, fuck all of you.

I have a tiny bit of money spare this month. If you send a receipt of a donation to an HIV/AIDS-related organization of your choice to thatwhichechoes@protonmail.com, personal information redacted as you so choose, I'll match it, multiple its, for a total of $50 from my end. If that doesn't happen by February 15, I'll just send it all to one of my choice. I can hold a couple bucks spare each month so that, God willing and my rent don't rise, I can consistently send to Rainbow Railroad or my home LGBT center's HIV/AIDS program.

Nothing is going to fix what she did and she's never going to get held to account in the way she should but I'm going to post receipts every so often anyways because I am nasty and angry enough to care about other people. I am angry enough to do penance on her behalf. I have been furious and horrified and sick about this ever since I found out and dealing with her vileness has caused actual tangible harm in my life but again, it's not about me, and I'm going to remember that even if you motherfuckers won't.

I would seriously advise anyone under the age of 21 to get the fuck off of this website and go learn how to communicate with other people in a healthy manner. Go outside! Interact with other people in the real world! Read a book. Read a fucking newspaper! Learn about the world. Or you can stay here and burrow in the echo chamber and become credulous fauxwoke racist homophobic morons who prioritize calling other teenagers pedophiles til they try to kill themselves because Steven Universe or something over doing literally anything that could help the world. Your choice.

The rest of you: comport yourselves like normal fucking human beings for once in your fucking lives and sort out your goddamn priorities. Read a fucking newspaper. Stop giving obvious racist fraudsters like medievalpoc and Israalix the benefit of the doubt and actually think about the information that is being presented to you and then maybe do something more useful with your time than getting into internet fights. For example, I organized an auction in my spare time that, with the help of another lovely person and dozens of wonderful donors, raised $3,917 for various charities over six months, including $200 for GMHC and about $75 for an HIV/AIDS organization in Wisconsin. Go do something similar or get off the fucking internet! It’s 2018! You’re adults! Try tangibly helping other people, at some point, instead of engaging in this terrible narcissistic performative circlejerk where trauma has become a cudgel to beat others!

If any of you do anything like this again I will find you and I will fucking destroy you. That is a promise. 

Go to hell.

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As just an Amazon seller, you have to face some pretty tough competition, it goes without saying. With more than 2 million active traders, making it on Amazon takes forethought, foresight, and a little luck. As for luck, you stumbled on the right post!

While it may seem like an afterthought in the great scale of things, one of the big keys to Amazon’s achievement is an eye-catching product page. Place yourself in the shoes of your customers — would you be more attracted to a smooth, visually pleasing product page or a chaotic, disorganized one?

Everything About the Specifics

The title, definition, and pictures are the bare bones of an Amazon product page. They say the devil is in the specifics and these are the first three things that sellers don’t get exactly right, all too often. In a second we’re going to talk more about the picture part, but for now, let’s concentrate on the title and summary. Have you really clicked on a product that got its title forever? Or tried reading through a nonsensical description? These are very major no-noes for a smooth shopping experience as you can possibly guess. When it comes to product design, consistency and straightforwardness should be given priority over all else.

That does not include needless adjectives, hordes of points of exclamation, and, most significantly, good grammar. A brilliant writing technique is to think of what’s unique about the company and show certain attributes. Amazon customers face a multitude of choices, which is why it’s so crucial to interact efficiently with what makes your store stand out.

Don’t skimp out on decent images

With 65 percent of the world becoming visual learners, photographs are worth 1,000 words in actual language. Scrolling to make your next buy is all about taking split-second choices, and the way a product is displayed visually plays a large part of that. Luckily it’s not taking a picture wiz to take the right image! Smartphones are actually strong little machines today, so clear pictures are more available than ever before. Without the correct methodology, the right tools are of course not perfect, Oh-shocker-you’ve been protected by Amazon! The amazon marketing App (available for both Apple and Android) comes with a function of Product Photo Studio which allows it as simple as pie to conform to Amazon’s picture requirements. And if you have the camera but not the rig, Amazon Basics offers its own Portable Picture Lab, designed exclusively for mobile pictures. Investing in specialized resources is always a poor move, although the DIY solution struggles. In reality, high-ticket things that require a little more pizzazz than you can offer them may be extremely beneficial.

Be wise on keywords

Keywords are the relational link between the shop and the prospective public. Excluding them, the products are almost difficult to market. To determine the popularity of your shop, seek to complete a quest for one of your items. Finding it easy? If not, then it might be time to change the plan. One of the easiest approaches to identify keywords important to your goods is by actually looking for them! Start with typing a related keyword, and let Amazon Search Autocomplete’s power lead you. Let’s assume you are selling cases on the internet, for instance. Select “iPhone case” in the search bar and you are automatically accepted with lots of recommended keywords, all linked to specific handset compatibilities in this situation. Lastly, also to be honest and careful. Never seek to rate with search keywords that are unrelated to what you’re selling — it causes both buyers and sellers with frustration and uncertainty. Rather, be frank and thoughtful on what the idea is …… and not.

Fellows the Laws

Laws ought to be violated — unless you’re an Amazon dealer or using amazon listing management tool Make sure you have read and observed their recommendations before and after your Fulfilment by Amazon tenure and can be found here and on your own account:

• Product Page Detail Rules • Product Image Requirements

And while at first, it can sound daunting, the biggest success stories on Amazon have not only learned to abide by the rules — they have also realized that they can be utilized to increase income and exposure, providing a win-win scenario for those concerned.

Selling on a website like Amazon involves getting exposure to millions of prospective buyers, but the tradeoff is a loss of quality regulation. While needing to conform to Amazon’s expectations, a top-of-the-line product listing combines the best of what you have to sell with the resources of the world’s largest eCommerce software.